Those with anxiety or obsessive compulsive disorder know that some tasks that seem simple for other people can be nearly impossible to complete. Things as small as answering a phone call, approaching the cashier at a store, or knocking on your neighbor's door to ask to borrow their lawn mower may all seem as difficult and dangerous as climbing Mount Everest. They are not totally impossible, however, and there is a way to survive the trials of life without descending into an attack of hyperventilation and heart palpitations.
1. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone
The thing about anxiety is that those who suffer from it know that it affects their day to day life just like a physical disability would. The only problem is that invisible disabilities like anxiety are hard for other people to notice or take seriously. It isn't right to expect someone with anxiety to immediately be OK with the task at hand, but that's what is expected anyway.
The easiest solution is to start forcing yourself to answer that phone call, talk to that cashier, ask for that favor, do the thing that is hard for you so you can learn from the experience. Once that painful task is done then the outcome seems less vague and scary from having seen it firsthand. Practice makes permanent, so practicing the hard task over and over can make it easier and less scary while avoiding it only causes the task to continue looming over you menacingly.
2. Plan and Prepare
For those with obsessive compulsive disorder, this tip is old news. The obsessive part usually means when something in the future is frightening them, they obsess over every little detail of how it could go wrong or right. This can be turned to your advantage as long as you don't let planning become panicking. If there is a job interview approaching or a phone call to make or some other terrifying event, plan out what you are going to say. Think about possible problems and their solutions. Having a set plan in mind can inspire confidence and provide help for when something unexpected happens.
3. Bring a Friend
It's OK if sometimes you can't do it all on your own. Bringing a confident friend who is willing to help can serve the same purpose as training wheels on a bike. When doing something difficult like talking to a stranger, having a sociable friend nearby to fill in the gaps of the conversation or provide encouragement can be a big help. Sometimes the companionship alone can provide the feeling of security needed to take that chance and do what's needed.
4. Go Easy on Yourself
Getting out of your comfort zone is good, but sometimes a little relaxation can go a long way. Taking time to relax and enjoy activities that make you calm and happy can give you the energy to tackle the next hard task. Remember: beating yourself up for not being able to do the same activities as people without anxiety does not help. Anxiety is a serious condition that impacts how people act and feel, regardless of how hard they are trying to not feel scared. Listen to some music, watch that show or read that book, go for a walk or whatever else feels healing.
5. What's the Worst That Could Happen?
This may seem counterproductive, but it does help a lot. Imagine all the ways the situation could go wrong, working your way down from the most ridiculous to the more reasonable. Start with "I could flop the job interview so bad that the interviewer straps me to a rocket and blasts me into space so no one has to deal with me again" and work down to "well maybe I just don't get the job." When you think about how no one is going to shoot you into space or lock you up in jail or something else equally horrible, the other worst case scenarios seem smaller by comparison. In the end, it really will be OK, and you will survive.
6. Get a Little Vain
Make a list of all your best qualities, and don't be afraid to be proud of them. Being proud of yourself can be hard for people with anxiety, and it is important to take some time to be amazed by yourself. Some fear can come from the idea that the person you are approaching is better than you. Just carry yourself like royalty and act as though you have more than every right to be where you are. Pride and courage can come hand in hand.
7. Remember This
Life is hard and messy and everyone makes mistakes. No one remembers every mistake forever, except those with OCD or anxiety. Obsessing over mistakes is easy when each one is so much more weighted with fear and doubt. Remember to let go of these mistakes and the fear around them. No one will remember that slip-up during that speech five years ago. It's even rare that someone will remember that slip-up a week from now. Move past the mistakes and the fear, and say "c'est la vie." If nothing can be done about it now, then worrying about it is a waste of time that only make things more painful. Live in the moment without regret for the past or fear for the future and life will go easier for sure.
