Today is a terribly sad and tragic day as we say goodbye to a beloved confidant and trusted companion. Smart Phone, you were there for me as a flashlight in the darkest of times and as a roadmap when I was lost. As you crashed to the ground and shattered, I knew my life would crumble with you. You left this world far to soon, and I can only hope that you knew how much you were appreciated.
After breaking my iPhone several days ago, it dawned on me how dependent people have become on their technology and gadgets. So when your phone passes on to the technological heavens beyond the iCloud, here are a few things you will seemingly be unable to do:
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1. Tell Time
You no longer have any idea what day it is without your digital calendar. Furthermore, you have somehow forgot how to read the hands of a clock (you know, that round thing that hangs on the wall with the numbers). Yeah, when’s the last time you looked at that ancient object?
2. Wake Up
Mommy needs to wake you up in the morning because without her or your handy dandy phone alarm, you will surely be late to work.
3. Do Math
Simple addition, subtraction, multiplication and division have suddenly become a lot more difficult. Need to figure out a bill or write up a work timesheet? Get out the dusty pencil and eraser and make your 3rd grade teacher proud.
4. Travel Anywhere
Need to go someplace new? Unravel that wrinkly map because your GPS can’t help you now. Just remember, it won’t announce when to make turns.
5. Make Calls
You have no idea what your dad’s number is and you never bothered to memorize your girlfriend’s.
6. Stay Sane
On your lunch break you won’t have Instagram or Netflix to keep you entertained. You must seek alternative means of entertainment, like maybe a physical book or crossword puzzle.
7. Remember Anything
Your life was stored in your reminders, notes and calendar applications. Was that meeting today at 12, or tomorrow? What the heck was my password?! Suddenly, as your asking yourself these questions and realizing you need a kindergarten refresher course, you’re appreciating that little square object more than ever before.
