Growing up is weird.

When I was little, I assumed that one day I'd be a kid, and the next I'd know how to do taxes, I'd be married, I'd have a car and a job, and everything would make sense. I never really thought much about college, four years of subtle transformation. And, as anyone who's done the growing-up-thing knows, the transformation is really subtle.

For instance, the gradual progression of adult-food-responsibility-realization:

1. When you realize your power to choose your own food

IMMA EAT A WHOLE PARTY-SIZED BAG OF POTATO CHIPS IN ONE SITTING

2. When you realize you have to buy your own food

The power to eat whatever you want comes with the necessity of purchasing said food.

3. When you realize you have to cook the food you bought

WHAT KIND OF CRAZY NONSENSE IS THIS?? I bought the freaking food; I spent legitimate money on something that'll be gone as soon as I eat it; and now I have to cook it too?

4. When you realize that eating junk food isn't a good way to escape cooking

Why do I feel so weird and gross? Oh...maybe it's because I can't remember the last time I ate a vegetable.

5. When you finally eat a vegetable and the salad-euphoria hits

I am like THE BEST ADULT EVER. Look at me eating salad; I'm unstoppable; who knows what I'll do next? Maybe I'll go back to my room and do yoga. Maybe I'll eat a bowl of grain and yogurt and some kind of fruit for breakfast tomorrow. GOTTA INSTAGRAM THIS SALAD.

6. Nearly becoming a vegetarian because salad makes you feel cool and cooking meat is gross.

I love bacon, but I don't want to see it before it's edible. And heaven forbid CHICKEN. I can't cut the fat off a piece of chicken without feeling like I've contaminated the entire building.

7. Slowly amassing a collection of meals you can prepare without wanting to punch yourself in the face

One day I'm flipping through my ten recipes, when I realize...This is where it begins. I am officially a grownup. I have a recipe book. How did this happen?

And, friends, that's just the food part of the growing-up journey. You'll feel like a mess the entire time, but remember we're all making the same journey. One day you'll make it through.