Passover is here and with that the lack of carbs. I personally have a love/ hate relationship with these eight days, but I know I am not the only one. If you celebrate this holiday, you know there are stages everyone goes through during the chag.
1. Eat all the matzah!
You suffer throughout the first day because you haven’t blessed the matzah yet, and you are dying to eat that insipid cracker that will constipate you after the second day. You already stalked all the Jewish cooking blogs to be able to make things like matzah lasagna, seven-layer matzah cake, matzah hamburger buns and more, but after awhile you realized that all those mouth-watering recipes take too long to make and you settle for melted cheese and chocolate spread on your matzah.
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2. The long Sedarim.
I personally loved Sedarim, but I also knew the struggle. Your uncle is speeding through the Hagada, your little cousin takes forever to sign Ma Nishtana and your mom is clapping and singing every single song. Yes, it is fun, but you stuff your mouth with boiled potato that was dipped in salty water because it is not the
3. The Four Cups
After years of sipping grape juice and staring at the grown ups cups, you finally get the chance to enjoy the alcoholic part of Pesach. All that singing and thinking about the brisket seems unbearable without a little kick, and thankfully we have four little cups to help us all. #blessed.
4. Avoid all the matzah!
After a few days of eating matzah with everything, and I mean everything, you are tired of eating this cracker -- let's not mention the side effects of eating matzah (cough, cough -- constipation). You now avoid matzah at all cost, and cringe every time your mom comes to your room with fresh matzah that was just taken out of the box.
5. Dreaming about all the chametz.
You know that everything during Passover tastes like, well, Passover. That potato starch/ matzoh meal flavor everything has is known by everyone who celebrates (or suffers) Passover. After a few days of eating Manichevitz cake, you can't help but dream about that four cheese ravioli or the veggie pizza you could be eating right now.
6. Avoid all the commercials and food- related publicity.
For some reason, Domino's has amazing promotions during Passover. Papa Johns is giving away free garlic knots, the frozen yogurt place down the street is doing two-punches a day, and all you can do is eat more matzah. Ugh, if only you could use those coupons to get free -- full of chametz -- food!
7. Counting the minutes until the Chag is over and you can reunite with all the carbs.
Need I say more?
