First off, let me establish what PSL stands for for all you non-PSL-drinking heathens. PSL stands for "Pumpkin Spice Latte," which is a popular seasonal drink at Starbucks. It usually comes out at the tail end or absolute end of the summer and dominates every form of social media until it is discontinued right before or at the beginning of winter.
Let me explain why it is so popular and why it is continually praised in the media and by white girls everywhere. It is essentially autumn in a cup. If you ever wanted to experience what the autumn season tastes like, simply go to the Starbucks in your area and order a PSL. (But please refrain from saying the letters "PSL." I think your local barista would prefer you use the full name of the drink.) A PSL gathers the flavors of cinnamon, nutmeg, clove, and-- of course-- pumpkin together to create the ultimate autumn experience as you watch the leaves change and feel the temperatures drop.
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I'm not going to lie. I used to be completely against PSLs. During my angsty hipster phase-- which is still a part of my personality-- I refused to entertain the thought of trying one. But one day I thought I might as well try the drink so I could confirm that I hated it. I was not prepared to have my opinion do a complete 180 and become a PSL advocate to the point of making my mom try one.
Now, I must share the experience of being a PSL lover and the cycle of emotions I've experienced.
1. Purgatory (aka pre-PSL season)
You go about your days normally but there is always something missing. Iced coffee in the summer. Hot coffee during spring and winter time. Every flavor has its perks but it's just not the same as your precious PSL. So you go about your days as best you can and cry whenever you see an out of place autumn or Halloween decoration.
2. PSL Cravings Start Stirring
Rumors start to surface and your PSL deprived heart can't take it. Should you be happy? Should you be suspicious? So many conflicting insights about when your precious PSL will be released. Slight paranoia is often part of this stage.
3. It's Released
You see a friend with a PSL. You see the board at Starbucks has a PSL picture on it. You see the syrup behind the counter. You see an announcement on Twitter. However you see it doesn't matter. What matters is that it's there and you cannot get to Starbucks fast enough to calm the overload of emotions your body is experiencing.
4. The First Sip
Heavenly. Exquisite. Pure. Autumn. Pumpkin. Spice. Latte. Iced or hot. Regular or soy milk. It is in your hands. You have tasted the wonderful liquid that is PSL and you are living. You are in your element. Autumn has finally come.
5. A Season Of Peace
Finally the time has come when you can enjoy all things "spoopy" while sipping your precious PSL. How many times a day do you have it? Doesn't matter. You're enjoying your life without limitations because you are finally where you need to be. Everything is right in the world and you're taking in as much of the beauty as you can with your beautiful PSL. People try to tell you to limit your intake and talk about the calories? You can't hear them over the sound of your next PSL being made. Life is good.
6. Just Like That, It's Gone
You walk into Starbucks to order another PSL and see that it's been removed from the menu board. You ask the barista for it anyways, just in case they still have some syrup left. They tell you it's been discontinued for the year. You feel your body begin to revert back to a familiar state, the state it was in when you were in PSL-less purgatory.
7. Hello There, Purgatory
So you order a different drink, leave Starbucks, and look back longingly with the promise of next year's PSL season.
