It seems like about halfway through first semester, everyone I know is sick. And this isn’t a problem exclusive to my campus--I know people everywhere who have succumbed to the epidemic of the FRESHMAN FLU. If you or a loved one experiences any of the following symptoms, know that there’s nothing you can do and you’ll probably be sick for most of the semester.

1. You have the same symptoms for weeks with little to no improvement, or you have slight variations on the same symptoms.

Sore throat, stuffy nose, constant headaches, tiredness, general malaise--all symptoms commonly associated with the freshman flu. They vary based on the exact person, but none tend to be severe: just annoying enough to result in a full day of Netflix in bed.

2. It's highly, HIGHLY contagious.

Once one person in your friend group contracts the freshman flu, you ALL get it. This results in long nights in the library contemplating whether or not your education is worth it.

3. The symptoms suddenly subside when there's mention of social events.

Whether it's going out or just going off campus for food, you're suddenly a functioning human being again when there's a mention of something fun as opposed to, you know, classes.

4. You may go to the doctor multiple times after being sick for like, 2 months, just for them to tell you it's viral and they can't do anything.

If I had a dime for every time I heard "this sounds like a slightly different strain of the same virus you just had, drink fluids!" I would be a millionaire.

5. Remember at the beginning of the year when you said you were going to be healthy and go to the gym every day?

Yeah, funny. Once you start feeling crappy, somehow the only thing that sounds appetizing is pasta.

6. At a certain point, you accept that sick is the new healthy and try to figure out how to adult.

There's a certain point where you have to suck it up and move on, accepting that your respiratory system/stomach/entire body is basically working against you permanently.

7. Just pray that you'll start feeling better by finals.

Spoiler alert: you most likely won't.

Regardless, just realize it's probably nothing serious. There may not be a WebMD page for it yet, but the freshman flu is real and in full swing from August to December. There's no medication and no cure. Try to sleep at least one hour a night and drink liquids other than iced coffee though, OK? It may be a struggle, but you still have to be a functioning human being in spite of this mystery illness that sweeps campuses every year, taking only freshmen as victims.