1. You moved away from the city to the country so you could see the Astral signs for yourself.

You may be a total Taurus, but if Venus isn't in line with Jupiter on Wednesdays, well, you just don't feel it. Seeing the signs in action spur you on and you know it. Follow the stars and shoot for the moon!

2. You constantly look at your phone when trying to evaluate the merits of a significant other

What are the ten signs that you must know when finding that significant other? What are the six signs that she/he is a woman/man of God? Should you reaaaally go out with him/her on a date, or are there signs that this will only lead you on the Path to Temptation? Signs will tell you all about what you need to avoid on the first date and if he/she just isn't right for you.

3. You have a cardboard sign reading "sign from God" so that you own and thus control the "sign from God"

Don't get confused with the dommsday party poopers! When you hold your Sign from God, be sure to align yourself on the midpoint between the Sun and the Moon for greater spectral projection!

4. You smile at your crotch Because it is so relatable to you

Admit it. Your affinity to follow signs are most strongly projected when you are in a class that you don't want to be in and are trying to pass the time. Identifying with one's genitalia is a sure sign that Pluto is on an accelerated orbit. Time is passing, and it passes faster with your eyes on your prize.

5. You're too lazy to fold clothes so you just dump it on the floor, but in such a way as to encourage Feng shui

It doesn't matter what your Chinese friends try to tell you: you know better. With your jeans stacked in a pentetragon on your Toby Mac shirt, Mars is certain to intersect Saturn in orbit.

6. You are scared when you encounter a scenario where people just don't want to play by their signs

When a Capricorn offers you a cupcake that genuinely tastes nice, you know something is off. But what is it? You can't figure it out, and fume quietly in the corner trying to concentrate

7. You wake up one day and realize your life has been a huge lie

Signs are stupid.