In honor of Father's Day being this weekend, I decided to dedicate this post to my father. There are...unique...dad's out there everywhere, but none quite like mine. Here's a list of things my father has done, that your father probably has not.
Do NOT try any of these at home!
1. He messed up Hamburger Helper...Big time!
We've all had our kitchen catastrophes, but this is the mother of them all. One day I walk into the kitchen and my dad was making hamburger helper. He told me that the recipe called for milk and that we ran out of milk. He then informed me that, as a substitute, he used French Vanilla coffee creamer. Now, this next part is my fault...I could have just walked away, but I was curious. Needless to say, we both tasted this horrible concoction and were both gagging and throwing up.
2. He tried to snort a Lo-Mein Noodle.
Honestly, I don't really want to relive this one. All I'll say is that the noodle was almost halfway into his nostril. My friend was over. There was more gagging.
3. He used an old pair of pants as a torch.
This one was actually pretty recent. He was talking about making a torch and then all of a sudden he came back with a pair of pants doused in gasoline, tied it to a long pole, and set it on fire.
4. He accidentally wrecked the stage during a worship set.
I wasn't there for this one, but as I was told, he was playing bass and his strap broke so he wanted to go get a chair from behind the stage. While doing this, he knocked over three Aviom units. All in the middle of a song.
5. He took me on a boat on the lake...we sank it.
The boat had a 250 pound weight limit. We both got on it and brought fishing equipment...suddenly, I was swimming.
6. He Dyed His Beard Purple
Not only was his beard hair purple, but so was the skin underneath. He has also tried to use shoe polish in an attempt to dye his beard, as well.
7. He's lit his chest hair on fire...
This one is pretty self explanatory. The smell was horrendous.
These are just SOME of the things that my father has done. I hope you enjoyed reading these stories as much as I enjoyed telling and experiencing them. I've definitely never met anyone as unique as my dad. He's done absolutely ridiculous things, but he's still pretty great, and I love him.
Happy Father's Day!
