Google defines ice cream as "a soft frozen food made with sweetened and flavored milk fat." But don't worry, ice cream, we know you're so much more than that. And we know all of the special occasions that require your presence.
1. You had a bad day.
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Whether all of the little things went wrong, or one very big thing, bad days suck. And there is only one reasonable cure: a McFlurry.
2. You had a good day.
You got that promotion? A cute human smiled at you? You found a penny face up? Sounds like a celebratory cone is in order.
3. You checked your bank account.
Ouch. Sorry, friend. But you know what will make it better? Spending money on some ice cream. (A Frosty is 99 cents, that hardly counts as spending money... right?)
4. You're suffering from the kind of humidity only Athens and the Amazon can produce.
Clearly you're too poor to actually turn on the AC, so the only way to survive an Athens summer is a steady diet of Ben and Jerry's.
5. You've got a bad case of the feels.
This is my number one reason for getting ice cream. Because who wants to deal with the crushing weight of 21 years of repressed emotions when you could get a milkshake from Larry's Dawg House instead?
6. You walked by an ice cream shop.
You're walking down Court Street. You've resolved to save money by not eating out. It has not been going very well. Just when you reach Union Street, when you think you've finally made it out of the danger zone, you see Whit's. It's not like you can just walk by without getting a Bobcat Whitser. Whit's is a good enough reason to get ice cream (well, custard) in and of itself.
7. Literally anything happened.
Is there anything that doesn't call for ice cream? If there is, I have never encountered it. If you genuinely believe there is a time or place where ice cream is inappropriate, feel free to argue with me. But beware, you are dealing with a professional ice cream addict here.
