At one point in our lives we are faced with relationships that may not be considered healthy. It doesn't always start out that way but somehow, some way, that's where it ended up. A relationship that once made you smile and feel as though you were on cloud nine turned into turmoil, stress, and a lot of empty tissue boxes. These relationships don't always have to be romantic either.
Sometimes a best friend can end up being the one that causes you the most pain. I don't believe these relationships are ever intentional. It may be them that is causing the problem, it may be you, it may even be a mixture of both. The reality of the situation is that something isn't working and one of you has to get up the courage to end it.
With that being said, I am a firm believer in the fact that everything happens for a reason. So instead of sulking on the damage that has been done I think it's time we embrace yet another incredible learning opportunity we have been given.
1. What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger
Look at you, you're still alive, clearly or else you wouldn't be reading this. No matter how damaging, destructive, cruel, torturous or life-altering the emotions you've felt have been, you can and you WILL survive. As much as I hate to say it, this may not be the worse thing you will go through. The good news is that having dealt with these kind of emotions will make you that much more able to deal with whatever the future may hold, good or bad.
2. You Learn to Rely on No One But Yourself
In any relationship it's easy to put your all into the other person. You want what's best for them even if it's not what's best for you. It's easy to get so invested in someone that you forget to take the necessary time and focus on your true #1: yourself. Ultimately you are the only person you can rely on in this life. Once you're forced to realize that, you tend to have a sense of control over any relationship.
3. You Realize the Importance of Keeping your Priorities Straight
It's easy to have all your priorities in order when you have no one else to worry about. When someone else gets involved that you love equally or maybe even more than yourself, then begins the problem. It's never okay for another human (who is not your child) to be your #1 priority.Getting out of a toxic relationship, or any relationship for that matter, gives you the freedom to put back the pieces of who you are and what you want. Put those priorities in order and stick to them!
4. You Have No Choice but to Find Peace With Yourself
Once you've learned that you are the only one you can rely on, you have to make sure you are someone that you like. You always hear that you can't accept the love from others until you love yourself. That is something a lot of us tend to struggle with. It's easy to search for and define yourself through others, which can be what puts us in these toxic relationships in the first place. When you have no choice but to focus on yourself, it becomes dire that you are someone you don't mind living with everyday. You may even find that you like yourself a lot more than you thought. Love for yourself can lead to little tolerance for anyone who doesn't treat you the way you deserve. This isn't being conceded, it's being confident. You don't need to settle for this toxic nonsense, you deserve a healthy relationship. Everyone does!
5. You Have Experience to Help Your Friends Identify Their Own Toxic Relationships
Every experience that you go through can help someone else. I can promise you there will always be others who go through similar if not the exact same situations that you do. So why not use those not so great situations that you've lived to help others avoid them? You've experienced it first hand, you may be able to tell them a thing or two about what it's like. Maybe you'll be able to save them some heartache.
6. You Will Be Thankful For All of Your Other Relationships
Man this is a big one. Whether it be romantically or friendly, nothing beats a healthy relationship. Now I'm using this term "healthy" very broadly. Different relationships work for different people. When you're in an unhealthy relationship though, you know it. Not only that but once you're experiencing healthy relationships, you'll feel a liberation of how unhealthy your toxic relationship really was. This makes it easier to let go. That in itself will make you feel SO good.
7. The Strength You Feel When You Are Finally Able to Let Them Go
Finding a positive in every situation is the key to life. It's often difficult to look at a negative situation and be able to say "I'm thankful for this". Maybe you experienced a toxic relationship in the past. Maybe you're experiencing it now. No matter where you are at, it is up to you what you choose to make of it. You never realize how strong you are until you have no choice but to find out. Life is too short to hold onto anyone or anything that doesn't make you a better you. Sometimes relationships don't do that, no matter how much you want them to. You must be willing to let go of what you've strained to hold onto for so long. In losing this relationship, you will find everything you don't even realize you want.
