When I first arrived at Biola, I never expected that the dating culture is something that is completely unique from the rest of the world. Literally you will never find a place with a weirder dating dynamic than here and here are some of the reasons why:
1. Casual Dating is Frowned Upon
Here's the thing. Dating is something that a couple does when you do want to get to know each other more. What the person is really like and whether you are compatible or not. But the problem with the culture here is that when casual dating is looked down upon, how do people expect to get to know each other on a whole other level? This can definitely have some bad implications which brings me to my second point:
2. People are too obsessed with the idea of "the one"
The whole concept of "the one" instills fear in the minds of everyone who believes in the myth. It makes them fantasize about the perfect and compatible love of their lives so much so that no human being will ever live up to that expectation. What makes things even worse is how a lot of people really want to find "the one" on the first try. "The one" is only an idea instead of reality.
3. Sexuality and Topics of Similar Content are Considered Taboo
Honestly, the topics that are oftentimes uncomfortable to talk about or mention can be the most important topic to think about or discuss. Thoughts are something that everyone has whether they admit it. Many people, however, choose to ignore it. I think this ignorance is a huge problem because of the ambiguity and vagueness it brings. I mean everybody goes through this, they just have to be brave enough to admit it.
4. The Topic of "Spirituality" and Dating
One thing that really surprised me when I talked about dating with people here at Biola is that they oftentimes use the excuse that the other person is "not spiritual enough" to break up with them and not be with them. A person's spirituality is definitely important. However, it should be a goal and a journey taken together instead of being a prerequisite.
5. Couples Can Get Too Serious Too Soon
At Biola there is a term for couples who get engaged by Spring: "Ring By Spring." Half of the time this term can get glorified and admired and the other half of the time it gets mocked and laughed at. Do not get me wrong, if you want to get married and you are so sure they are the love of your lives go ahead. The problem with this is that I think people can act too much in the heat of the moment and not think everything through.
6. The Thirstiness is Real but Hidden
This sort of brings us back to number three because the topic of sexuality is taboo people are really good at hiding it. This makes things even more dangerous because you can't actually know anything about a person's viewpoints on sex and things similar to that until you get really close and personal.
7. There are Too Many Restrictions, Rules and Guidelines
Navigating the dating life here is a really difficult and complicated feat that needs to be overcome. Because dating is oftentimes considered as something that is sacred and rare, there are certain ways people should go about dating. Very specific ways. Like how far you are supposed to go, what kind of dates, what kind of people you should be, how you should act, etc.
