Somebody tell Bon Qui Qui to call security because these trends have got to go.

1. “It was lit fam”

This phrase has taken over social media as well as the daily vocabulary of our generation. In order to describe something as “cool” or “awesome” people have begun to use this phrase. Because people suddenly couldn’t think of any other way to describe a party, event, social gathering, or quite frankly any activity they do, they have resorted to using adjectives that would describe say a candle, or a flashlight.

What’s next? “It was wicked out, bro!”? Like seriously, please stop. And what is with the word “fam”? Are you too lazy to say family? News flash, unless you are my mom, dad, or brother, you are not calling me fam. End of story.

2. Crop tops

What the hell happened to the rest of the shirt? Here’s a little information on the history of crop tops. Someone was bored one day, folding their laundry, probably mindlessly watching TV and thought to themselves, “Hey this shirt would look great cut in half,”. So they took a pair of scissors to the shirt, hacked the bottom half off, and decided it looked good.

And that, my friends, is why we have 12 year olds swarming Brandy Melville with arms full of chopped off t-shirts. And that is why fashion today is a joke.

3. #goals

I wish with all of my being that this hashtag/phrase/caption on Instagram, whatever it is, would just go away. I am so tired of scrolling through Twitter and seeing people saying “OMG GOALS”, “#goals”, “Alexis and Jay are total goals”, etc. etc. etc.

Why? Just because someone has a cute puppy doesn’t mean they are “literally goals”. Why can’t you just admire the freaking dog? Because guess what? People don’t care whether or not you think something is goals. Literally, nobody cares.

The phrase has become so overused that it’s hard to go through social media without seeing it. The things people are saying it about may very well be great: a trip to Bora Bora and a free massage on the beach? Hell yeah sign me up! But I’m not going to go on Instagram and comment “OMG THIS IS MY LIFE GOALS” because honestly no one cares and maybe, just maybe, we should aspire to accomplish more in life than just going on an awesome vacation. Just a thought.

4. Damn Daniel

I recognize that this phrase has begun it’s not-so-fast descent into the abyss of long overused memes and catch phrases, soon to join Grumpy Cat and YOLO.

Honestly, good riddance. I hope this phrase catapults out of the vernacular of modern society because it is arguably the most irritating phrase out there. But, there are still some people who say it. Shocking? No. Disappointing? Yes. Annoying beyond belief? Yes.

First of all, the situation this phrase is used in is completely irrelevant. I can be eating ice cream (which I honestly usually am), and somebody could come up and be like, “DAMN Daniel…” What is the point of saying it?

First of all, WHO IS DANIEL? I mean, can we just talk about the fact that the kid in this video, what’s his name? Oh right, Daniel, I almost forgot, got a LIFETIME supply of Vans? The kid does not even say anything in the video and almost overnight gets a freaking lifetime supply of Vans. What?

Second of all, the voice that people use with this phrase is enough to make me put my head through a wall. Or five. The phrase alone wouldn’t be too terrible, but the voice, oh God the voice. You sound like you have been sick with pneumonia for like 12 weeks, or like you are trying to gargle gravel. Oh my gosh just please make it stop.

5. Major Key

This trend actually cracks me up, you know why? The Urban Dictionary (because every author has to be maintain their ethos right?) defines major key as a phrase, “Often said by DJ Khaled to indicate an item or action that is required to sustain human life,” (Urbandctionary.com). Required to sustain human life. What have people been applying major key to?

According to Khaled himself, “keeping your head above water, (in a hot tub)” is a major key to success. Yes, keeping your head above water is required to sustain human life, but saying it’s a major key to success makes me want to cry. It’s not a key to success bud, it’s freaking common sense to breathe air. My favorite key to success however, is the Snapchat he posted with Kim Kardashian.

I don’t know if he’s saying that knowing Kim herself is a major key to success (aka required to sustain human life) or if we should follow her as a role model.

Quite frankly I don’t care for either option. I’ve survived my whole life without ever meeting Kim Kardashian and I’ve turned out just fine. In fact, I fear that if I ever did meet her, she would be the opposite of a major key and would end up killing off a few of my brain cells instead.

If Khaled is on the other hand referring to looking up to her as a role model, this raises some questions. Because we all now how Kim got famous and successful. And I don’t know which option is more horrifying.

6. AF

I can think of no greater embarrassment to the English language than this trend: AF. It is arguably the most basic thing a person can say. Just imagine: “You look hot af” “I’m mad af at my mom rn” or “The store was busy af”. It just sounds so dumb, like you’re mid-sentence and you do a weird half sneeze thing.

Also, how does af even describe something? Like how is a drink amazing af? I’m so confused. Perhaps the worst application of this trend occurs in my worst nightmare ever: “Oh. My. Gosh. Those baes are goals af,” Help, I’m screaming.

7. Drunk Snapchats

Last but certainly not least on our list of trends that need to be wiped from the face of this earth are drunk Snapchats. There’s nothing I enjoy more than scrolling through my Snapchat late at night (s/o to snap for the update, I still can’t figure out how it works) and seeing how much alcohol you are consuming, or how fun the party is, or how freaking God awful your filming skills are.

I can’t figure out what is going on because the camera is constantly moving, but in all honesty, I really don’t want to know what’s going on. Because it’s annoying. Nobody cares about what you think is so hunker over, slap your knee, and grab your stomach funny, because truthfully from all of the sober people who are seeing your Snap story, it’s not funny at all.

I don’t care about seeing how many shots you have taken, or how some girl is your new BFF, or seeing all of your friends dancing to some weird music. Please just stop with the drunk Snapchats, please. Party in private people.

Like people trends will come and trends will go, and also like people there will be the trends that make you want to drop a cinderblock on your foot because they are so irritating. So please, help aid in the diminishing of these trends by doing your best to avoid using them and drop-kicking those people who do use them.