Long-distance relationships are sometimes unavoidable and love shouldn't be deterred by state lines or oceans. When you love someone it will transcend any obstacle thrown at it. With that being said, these types of relationships are not a walk in the park. Whether your partner left for college, a job, or a family emergency, it can quickly become a way of life. The important thing is not to let the distance make your love grow more distant, but fonder. Here are some major keys to keep the bond intact despite a number of miles that separate you from your significant other:
No. 1: Understanding.
Okay, so accept it. They are leaving for one reason or another. There is no point in arguing about whether or not they are going...you are past that. As their partner, they need you to support them in this difficult decision. It isn't easy for them either to uproot their lives and head off without you. Trust me, they'd rather not. But the key here is understanding that this is a challenge for them too and yet they are willing to walk through the fire with you over anyone else. Once you can understand their decision, it will ease your separation anxiety a tiny bit.
No. 2: Trust.
If you don't have trust in your partner, this will not work. Walk away while you're ahead now and jump right through the stages of a breakup. The levels of trust needed to make a long distance relationship work are countless. You have to trust that they won't cheat. You have to trust they are doing everything they can to return to you. You have to trust this move is nothing more than business and nothing shady. Lastly, you have to trust yourself to let them go. You can accept it but can you walk in it? You are also asking your partner simultaneously to trust you as well.
No. 3: Space.
The change of not being able to pop up at your significant other's house is an obvious one - the physical space between the two of you. You will undoubtedly try to overcompensate this loss of space with phone calls, FaceTime chats, Skyping, Facebook chatting, and every other way of connecting through other media platforms. In the words of Bryson Tiller, "Don't," because it's annoying and it speaks to a lack of trust (as mentioned previously) and insecurity. You won't be on the same schedule anymore and you might not get a text response every second of the day. But it's important that you allow them the space to do what they left you to do. Then in return, reasonably create time together to keep in contact and keep fostering that love.
No. 4: Keeping It Spicy.
Don't succumb to the idea of out of sight, out of mind. Keeping your relationship "spicy," or exciting, will help to alleviate the hardships of a long-distance relationship. A sexy voicemail, a cute picture, or a post only they will understand. Finding innovative ways to make up for the lack of physical intimacy while also not crowding each other will go a long way.
No. 5: Visits (Planned and Unplanned).
Long-distance relationships should not also, in turn, mean isolation. Make some time to visit each other whether at home, the new place, or a common vacation together. Nothing is cuter than that initial meet up after a long absence at the airport. So plan time together and if possible, in evenly spaced out time. Maybe even pop up once or twice on them unexpectedly at your own risk.
No. 6: Creating a common ground.
I found it a big help to create something you both do together at the same time to keep things going. For example, a TV show you can both catch weekly together and recap together after it's over. It's something so small but can easily have you both entertained and looking forward to next time. It will also help to keep you both grounded while everything else around you is shifting.
No. 7: Support.
There are going to be a lot of tears, frustrations, and times of loneliness on both sides. The major key is to never stop supporting each other. Honestly, the way your love will grow because of it is something you cannot quantify. Just know that if you both make it to the other side whole and still in love, that is your ride or die.
