I started wrestling in first grade and wrestled all the way through. Without a doubt, the decision to lace up those shoes has been the most formative decision of my life. I learned more than words can say from this great sport, but these are seven of the most important.

How to pick myself up

I was a decent wrestler, but I certainly was not the best. For every victory against a tough opponent I had, it always seemed like there were two matches that got away from me. Those matches are disappointing. Wrestling is an individual sport, so are not able to put blame on anyone else when you lose. You just have to look at yourself and figure out where you went wrong, and then work on it.

The importance of goals

One of my coaches had us fill out goals before our first practice every season. We were required to list not only our individual and team goals, but also steps by which to accomplish them. Admittedly, my freshman and sophomore year of high school I did not take these goals seriously. I had forgotten about them entirely until my last class of the day, so I hurriedly scratched out a few basic goals and steps that anyone could muster up. I did not take any time for introspection, and I never looked at them the rest of the season. But my final two seasons I took them seriously. I thought long and hard about what I wanted to accomplish, and I posted them up for all of my teammates to see. They provided an external way for me to hold myself accountable, and make sure that every day I was working to accomplish what I had set out to do at the beginning of the year. I still write goals to this day.

“Look fresh act fresh”

Wrestling is tough, and at the end of a match you often find yourself exhausted. During matches it can feel as if your entire body is rebelling against you with every breath. It becomes easy to show that weakness. Another of my coaches taught us this mantra to combat this. Instead of leaning over or sitting on the mat during short breaks, he encouraged us to stand tall with our hands on our hips. I tried to live by this during my matches. Often, there were times I felt all but dead on the mat, but this mentality saved me from ruin in two ways. First, it helps to break your opponent. They were just as tired as I was, but I looked fresh. It gave them the sense that I could not be broken down and no matter what they did I would continue fighting just as hard. That is demoralizing. Second, it actually gave me more energy. It sounds odd, but it is the exact same premise as “fake it ‘til you make it.” When I was standing tall instead of doubling over I felt more powerful. When I hustled back to the center instead of casually strolling back I felt more ready to compete. I certainly was not full of energy, but I told myself that I was. I still do the same when I am unfamiliar with a new situation or task. I just look fresh and act fresh and take down whatever is in front of me.

Never reach back

When wrestling from the bottom position it seems natural to reach back and grab your opponent’s head or leg. However, this results in dire circumstances. I learned this in elementary or middle school when I deftly grabbed my opponent’s head and thought I had the upper hand. But then I quickly found myself counting the lights and getting pinned. The only way to get out from the bottom position is to keep moving forward. You can stand up, sit out, or do any number of things, but you cannot reach back. It is the exact same in life. I have learned that I need to leave my past in the past in order to improve lot. Reaching back to grapple with it will only leave me in a worse position.

High Head wins

In a scrambling situation, the wrestler who can keep their head highest usually comes out with the points or a better position than their opponent. Scrambling happens when techniques and moves do not go particularly as planned and sudden innovation has to occur. During these moments it can be almost instinctual to let your head drop. Your body feels more comfortable on a level plane than it does fighting for leverage. But if you let your head drop you lose. If you stop fighting for even a second and let yourself get comfortable, then you can lose all of the leverage and advantages that you have gained up to that point. It is the exact same way with life. You have to keep your head high – even when the entire world is screaming at you to relax – in order to make advances and accomplish something.

The value of hard work and discipline

I remember going for a run on Christmas Eve one year because we had a tournament on the 28^th, and I wanted to make sure I was ready. One year our entire team met at the high school on Wednesdays at 6 am to get an early morning workout in. My junior year I ate six to eight thousand calories a day religiously to try to gain weight, and then my senior year I had a salad and water for lunch every day from October to February. That all seems crazy, but it was worth it. It was worth putting in that work and keeping my mind focused to see results. And that is what hard work and discipline beget: results. I learned that without these two things I will accomplish nothing in life.

The true definition of family

I made brothers in that wrestling room. I have more father figures than a young Catholic looking up the line of clergy that leads to the Pope. When my mom was first going through the annals of the healthcare system that resulted in her being placed on the heart transplant list, my entire team came to the hospital to visit her and comfort me. I cried that night. Our county is three hours from where she was receiving care. That is certainly not a short trip, and I still get a little choked up when I think about the love I was shown that day. When you wrestle you are not just part of a team, you are part of a family.

If you do not count the time I spent sleeping, then I probably spent more time wrestling during high school than I did at home. And it was worth it. Those countless hours shaped me into who I am today. Without wrestling, I have no idea where I would be right now, but I guarantee it would be somewhere with much less satisfaction than the life I am leading.