In the three years that I’ve been in a relationship, I’ve changed so much. I went from being a 19-year old college sophomore to a 22-year old college graduate. I went from being a teenager to a young adult, from student to writer, and my girlfriend, who is now 21, has been there growing right alongside me. When you enter a serious relationship at a young age, you and your partner are bound to change a lot. But if the relationship is healthy, loving and ultimately a good fit, you’ll both be able to grow together both individually and within the relationship. Here are 7 things I’ve learned about how to love both my partner and myself better.

1. A good partner will support your dreams.

A loving partner will understand when you have to take the time to study or go to your internship. They will even understand if you go away to study abroad, as hard as it may be to be apart for a while. They will bring you tea while you slouch over your computer applying to jobs, and cheer you on when you get your first post-grad job. In return, you’ll want to be their cheerleader too!

2. A relationship will show you what your flaws are and how to work on them.

Arguments are excellent opportunities for self-improvement. When you spend a lot of time with someone, your bad habits are bound to become clear. Admitting you’re the one at fault in a fight is a great opportunity to learn from your mistakes and become a better human.

3. Loving someone else is just as important as loving yourself.

It’s a bit cliche, but it’s so important to remember to love yourself first. It’s a wonderful thing to be able to put someone’s needs before your own, but you need to take care of yourself and show yourself love so that you can stand on your own two feet when you need to. It’s vital that you always know that you are a valuable person both in and out of a relationship.

4. Sometimes it’s okay to take a risk.

Relationships are risks, but they’re worth it. Every time you make a change in your life to try to improve it, from taking on a new job to moving across the county for school, you’re taking the risk that it might not work out like you had hoped. But if you never take the risk, you’ll never get what you truly want out of life. Plus, like any risk, relationships are a rush and an adventure.

5. It’s definitely okay to take a break.

Partners are great at sensing when you need to take a time out. Sometimes it’s okay to give into the sneaky kisses or to take a break to go on a date. Relationships are excellent reminders to have a little fun.

6. Love that spreads is the best kind.

Pure love isn’t a greedy thing. In a healthy relationship, both partners will encourage each other to hang out with friends and family, and even join in on group dinners and parties! Love of all kinds is important, and a romantic relationship, when it’s balanced and healthy, will only emphasize that.

7. You are more beautiful than you realize.

Self-confidence is so important, and everyone should be able to feel confident whether they’re single or in a relationship. Seeing the beauty in others, whether they’re your partner or not, is a great way to recognize that same beauty in yourself.

These are just a few of the many things I’ve learned over the past few years. Whether you’re in a relationship or happily single, there are so many things to learn just by loving someone, whether it’s romantic or not. Keep growing and learning to love both yourself and others more each day, and where you’re meant to be will fall into place.