I’ve seen too many people in relationships they don’t seem to be that happy in. Of course all will have their ups and downs, you’ll fight and get annoyed by each other, but your romantic partner should also be your best friend, someone you feel comfortable around and who supports you through and through. Not every relationship will be the same, and none will ever be perfect, but there are some components that are necessary for a lasting and loving partnership.

1. Most obvious: Genuine interest and attraction to the person.

Don’t date someone because you’re tired of being single. Don’t date someone because you want eye candy or someone to show off on social media. Don’t date someone to prove anything to yourself or anyone else. Don’t date someone because they insist you do, even if you’re wary. Only be with someone you’re super into who makes you excited about life.

2. The ability to laugh at and with each other.

Sharing a similar sense of humor is crucial. And being able to giggle when one of you does something silly or dumb helps. You can’t be serious all the time, especially if you’re active in the bedroom.

3. Mutual support.

Your partner should be your cheerleader and vice versa. Whatever you pursue, create, enjoy – they should encourage you to be and do your best.

4. Intimacy.

And I’m not talking about taking off your clothes. Do you trust your partner? Do you feel safe being vulnerable about them? Can you express your true emotions and open up? If you find yourself hiding things from them, putting on a mask, or feeling self conscious, it’s not going to work out.

5. Helping each other grow.

Besides romance, friendship, and passion, the two of you should evolve together. People will always change, and hopefully you change for the better. Whatever happens, you should definitely not bring out one another’s negative traits or feed into them.

6. Acceptance.

I’m sorry to break it to you, but fairy tales don’t exist in real life, at least not the elaborate Disney kind with princesses, fairies, magic, and a Prince Charming. But in a way, to, you your partner should be your “Princess/Prince”. Every single person has flaws, and you should understand that. Maybe over time you can help them overcome some problems, such as immaturity or pessimism, but nobody is going to be the ideal Mr./Mrs. Perfect. Accept each other for who you are and you’ll find so much happiness.

7. Expressing affection.

Everybody enjoys the feeling of being loved and complimented. You and your partner should remind each other how much you care as often as you can. It doesn’t have to be in grand romantic gestures or splurging on gifts, just give them a hug, tell them how attractive, smart, talented, etc. they are, write them a sweet note, make a mixtape, wish them a good day in the morning. These little things are the glue of all great relationships!