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7 John Mulaney Stand Ups To Brighten Your Day

"I look like I was just sitting in a room, in a chair eating saltines for like 28 years and then I walked right out here."

Greer Anderson

Oct 02, 2017

Hastings College

444

7 John Mulaney Stand Ups To Brighten Your Day

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No matter where I go, or what I do, I always find a John Mulaney fan. Here are some of my favorite stand up routines for your viewing pleasure.

1. Salt and Pepper Diner

"On the other hand... when we went back."

2. Delta Airlines

"Like I'll book a ticket on some garbage airline, ya know, I don't wanna name an actual airline so let's just make one up, let's just call it Delta Airline."

3. The One Thing You Can't Replace

"And then I had the thought that only blackout drunks and Steve Urkel can have... did I do that?"

4. New In Town

"Excuse me, I'm New In Town and it gets worse."

5. Realtors

"This is an on fire garbage can. Could be a nursery."

6. A Child With Lawyers

"Luckily, I had a good alibi because I was in Wisconsin and twelve."

7. Asian-American Woman

"Hahaha! Hahaha! Hey look at that high waisted man he's got feminine hips!"

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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7 John Mulaney Stand Ups To Brighten Your Day

"I look like I was just sitting in a room, in a chair eating saltines for like 28 years and then I walked right out here."

1. Salt and Pepper Diner

2. Delta Airlines

3. The One Thing You Can't Replace

4. New In Town

5. Realtors

6. A Child With Lawyers

7. Asian-American Woman

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This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

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