With the sadistic hunger games that is the 4-person apartment draw finally over you may find yourself in desperate need of an alternate housing arrangement for next year. Sure you could apply for a suite or search for a place off-campus, but before you do anything too practical consider making yourself at home in these under-utilized spaces.

1. The bench outside your professor’s office

You’re always there waiting in line for their office hours anyway so why not make every hour an office hour! The hard wooden bench is varnished with the tears of your predecessors, and comes fully equipped enough initials to rival Vassar Missed! To top it off your professor will never question the validity of your hangover when they have to step over a puddle of your vomit in order to access their office.

2. The Bridge Building!

With so much construction going on no one will notice as you stealthily turn one of the conference rooms into an extra-large single. Not only will your pad be the most recently constructed on campus, but you’ll be just steps away from the kiosk, hello caffeine! On the down side your safety will be contingent on the chem students not blowing up a lab, but tbh your stuff will probably be safer than it would be in a TH.

3. Turn your apartment group into an org

You and your friends will get a space on campus, not to mention funding for your sick parties. You’ll be living the life as you hold auditions for new group-members when one of you inevitably goes abroad. No randoms for your squad! Your next housemate will have to pass a Parks and Rec trivia quiz and demonstrate how to correctly change a roll of toilet paper.

Ship yourself to shipping and receiving

Tired of walking all the way across campus just to receive your mail? Craving the Siberian isolation of a SoCo with none of the amenities? Then a refrigerator box in the corner of Shipping and Receiving is for you! You’ll be the first to receive your Amazon Prime packages, while enjoying roughly the same square-footage as a single in Jewett. Perks include a warehouse aesthetic that rivals an urban outfitters and all the bubble wrap you can pop.

5. Become the phantom of the CDF

Drama major not required but recommended. A detailed backstory of not being cast in department auditions encouraged. Spend your evenings lurking around the catwalks while having vivid flashbacks of intro to stagecraft. If anyone asks about the tent you’ve constructed in the drama majors lounge yell “take five everybody!” and shake your head in disgust. On the bright side You may actually get in to see a department show.

6. Pretend to be a prospie

Enjoy the instability of bouncing around from dorm room to dorm room every night as fellow Vassar students convince you to apply to the college you already attend. Live vicariously through their social lives as they drag you from their meetings to a late night rehearsal, all for the reward of a free meal at the Deece. You'll create an air of mystery as people try and determine whether you actually go here.

7. Cappy’s house

Ready to take your on-campus housing game to a whole new level? Get adopted by Cappy and maintain the lifestyle to which you are accustomed in her gorgeous brick house kitty-corner from Main building. Perks: Your room will literally be the Cappy Hill Come and Chill Room.