Over the past few years, I have learned a lot about friendship and who I want or don't want to surround myself with. Any relationship should embody mutual support, respect, and care. I let emotions and memories cloud my judgement when some people treated me unfairly, and these 7 truths helped me make the decision in cutting them from my social network. I do not regret it and sometimes it's sad, but ultimately you should associate with people who understand where you have been, appreciate you as you are, and encourage you to grow.
1. You shouldn't have to chase a real friend
If someone walks away from your friendship, allow them to keep walking. Going after someone who you believe is worth fighting for is okay, but there comes a point where you need to respect yourself and realize that friendship shouldn't be a marathon. I've been trying to do this because I care too much, but only I suffer in the end and it's honestly exhausting. I'm tired of trying to prove that I matter to someone who can't see it or doesn't want to see it anymore. I am someone who tends to give people multiple chances and if there's one thing I've learned, chances don't mean much if people haven't learned from their first mistake. If they need space, need time, or simply lost interest then stop trying to run after people and focus on the ones running with you.
2. Any relationship is a two-way street
Like myself, there are so many people who unfortunately always put more effort into a friendship than the other. Some people are different and they will say they are busy, but it comes down to the idea that if people truly care and want you in their life, they will show it. If you are constantly trying and they are not willing to keep in touch, then they don't respect you or appreciate you anymore. There are no genuine excuses for someone to not be apart of your life. Stop reserving a space in your life for people who don't make an effort to stay.
3. Tough times always reveal true friends
People will always be there during the good times but when things go south, see who sticks around enough to care. Knowing that someone is there during your worst and being able to lean on them for support shows that they deserve to be there at your best. When I was going through a dark time, friends I don't get to see a lot (due to physical distance) were more supportive than the ones I thought were closest to me. These friends should bring some light into the darkness you're experiencing and the ones who aren't present will hurt you but at least you will have clarity.
4. Long distance doesn't change much
Some of my very good friends who I consider family and know will always have my back live miles and miles away. Distance may physically keep you separate, but you can always pick up where you left off when you reunite. Long distance friendships are more profound because you don't see each other for over a year or talk every week, and make it work. Distance means very little when someone means so much.
5. Understanding is key
Sometimes you can't explain feelings to your friends or they can not relate to you in a situation. The best thing you can do is to try to understand and offer your support, even if you don't really agree with something. Also most friendships that die out are due to misunderstandings, so make sure there's always communication. A best friend is someone who can see the pain behind your smile and understand your thoughts when you don't even say a word. Anyone can hear you but it takes a special someone to actually listen.
6. You never fully know someone
Life happens and how they react can change the way you feel about someone. If they handle situations you've never seen them experience or someone new comes in their life, they may act differently. A lot can happen in life and one minute you can be best friends with someone who was a stranger a year ago or you can become strangers with someone who was your best friend a year ago. Things happen so fast that all of a sudden the person you told everything to once now has no idea what is happening in your life. It's unfortunate and you will be disappointed, but try to remember that memories don't change even if the person does.
7. Every friendship adds knowledge
Relationships and experiences within those relationships are there for you to learn from. Someone can show you the positivity of a situation or someone can show you how things are not always as they seem. Regardless, each friendship always leaves you with something, whether it's a new aspect of life or what to watch out for in the future. The friends who I value most teach me various ways and ideas that help me grow in life. I believe that people cross paths for a reason and they can be a blessing or a lesson depending on what life has in store for you.
Keep in mind that these truths apply to everyone, considering a relationship holds two parties responsible. Acknowledge these truths and see if you are doing something that you are unhappy with. If things don't work out with someone, whether it's because they changed or don't consider you a priority anymore, that's quite alright. If you found your true friends, make sure to be grateful for the loyalty and love that comes from them.
