I’ll have a job by February.
Well, sorry to inform you all, but after the harsh reality that most places don’t start hiring until March or so; I finally had to let go of my OCD planning nature. You most likely won’t have a job and will barely even have a perfect resumé crafted by February.

The person I’m dating will be the one I end up with. (Or that I will be dating someone at all.)
Ha. I think about half of us seniors beg to differ on this little perception. Although, I know many great, happy couples, but there are still so many of us who are still asking randos to date parties and are happily okay with it.

I will make all A’s.
Although you probably have the fewest hours of your college career and naturally think you will succeed in this last semester, don’t underestimate it. Combining school with a possible internship, job and job searching proves to be way more tiring than you could expect. You’ll be happy if you make it to all your classes that week.

I will have lost the weight I gained freshman year.
By senior year, I will have a set workout routine, whether it be spinning class or waking up before my internship at 5:30 a.m. to hit the gym. No. You will not. You will barely make it to the gym maybe twice a week, and when you go, you will judge all the skinny freshman taking over the ellipticals to get their perfect beach bod for Panama City.

I will embrace reality.
Instead of doing the obvious mature thing and accepting the fact you’re growing up, you will deny until you die. Most likely use every weekend as a “YOLO” or (“YOSO” — You Only Senior Once) moment and make horrible decisions. Not embracing reality also includes having weekly cries with your roommates about moving out in May.

I will stop using abbreviations.
This really needs no explanation other than the fact I doubt many grown up jobs will enjoy your excessive use of “LOL” and “RT.”

I will have my life together.
I won’t wake up every Friday, Saturday and Sunday hung over. Oh wait, now I’m actually 21 and can get into bars, so yes, of course I will be going out every night available just like freshman year. Only this time, I will close the bar down.