It's that time of year again; the malls and stores are decorated with all sorts of holly jolly and holiday spirit. While those perfect ribbons and bells make for nice atmosphere, they can't distract from the madness of the Christmas shoppers. If you're still heading out to shop for your loved ones, be wary of encounters with these interesting Christmas characters.
The Christmas Crammer
This is that shopper who decided to try and buy gifts two days before Christmas. They're desperate and rushed, so you'll want to stay out of their aimless-wandering way.
The Exasperated Employee
They are just one more stupid question away from quitting. So, don't be the idiot asking a Macy's employee if they sell Butterball turkeys.
The Power Purchaser
This person walks around with a checklist and a pencil. Nothing short of a modern-day Santa, this shopper can't stop and won't stop until they've got every damn thing on that list in their cart.
The Corporate Considerer
This is that shopper in a suit. They'll stand in Total Wine for half an hour deciding whether to gift this bottle of wine or that bottle of wine--this one is nice, but that one is cheaper and do they like red or white? This line of self-questioning could go on forever.
The Ferocious Fighter
Steer clear, my friend. This shopper treats Christmas shopping like Black Friday. You DO NOT want to mess with this shopper because you'll lose in the fight over the last Nerf gun at Target.
The Baffled Boyfriend
He'll possibly be standing somewhere near the scarfs and socks section trying to decide what type of Christmas gift is appropriate for a three-month relationship. He'll probably end up giving her a gift card to Kohl's.
The Crying Child
This kid just CANNOT make it until Christmas--they need that new toy right now and when mom ultimately says "No, Santa will be here in five days," you know you can expect a tantrum. Leave the kids at home, folks.