It's that time of year again. You know what I’m talking about; that time of year when the lines of your local supermarket are lined with pumpkin paraphernalia, and those certain people start decorating for Halloween in September while eating candy corn by the shovel load. I won't get into the politics of candy corn however (which, by the way, is overrated and tastes like the bastard child of plastic and candlewax). It's starting to get cooler out and your sweaters can slowly but surely emerge from their hibernation from the back of your closet. It’s around this time, if you’re someone who cares, that one starts to wonder, “What the hell am I gonna be for Halloween?”
Halloween costumes are expensive. That's not new information. So, when you're a college student with a budget of The Absolute Bare Minimum and a need to impress your peers, you have to get creative. The ideal halloween costume is either ironic and funny, or sexy and cute. Either way, it must be College Student Resistant. Here's some ideas for budget friendly Halloween costumes that you can most likely pull together the night before and throw out the next day. It’s good to think ahead when you know you won’t figure it out until the last minute.
1. A garbage bag.
Just shove your feet through a plastic garbage bag. When you eventually leave whatever party you decide to go to, you can say, “Sorry everyone. Time to take out the trash.” Everyone will hate you for this pun. This is a good thing.
2. Cereal killer.
An empty box of cereal and a kitchen knife. Maybe a butter knife will be safer, but that’s up to you. You can really get creative with the kind of utensils you incorporate into the costume. A fork? A spoon? The world is yours.
3. Tired.
This is something I’ve always thought was pretty hilarious. Literally, just wear your favorite pajamas. When people ask you, “What are you supposed to be?” Say, “Tired.” Maybe fall asleep on a couch somewhere. If you go to bed early people will just think you’re really committed to your costume. You can’t lose here.
4. A color.
This is where you can really get creative. Pick a color and wear only that color. All green? A frog. Or a cactus. Or someone’s booger. All brown? A piece of shit. All blue? A blueberry. All black? The void. The abyss. If you do decide to go with the abyss idea, I would suggest that you stare anyone who tries to talk to you directly in the eye and don't let go. Really drive the point home. The possibilities are endless and prove to everyone how lazy you really are. If you have a really good imagination, your answer to the question, “What are you?” will change every single time someone asks you.
5. Be yourself.
Hear me out. Just wear a regular outfit you really love and are comfortable in. You can be Someone Who Forgot To Get A Costume. Maybe add some fake blood and you can be the dead version of yourself. Whatever, man.
6. Wear your underwear on the OUTSIDE of your clothes.
You wouldn’t necessarily BE anything. Halloween is just technically the only day you can do this and have it be socially acceptable. Live your life. Superman does it, why can't you?
7. A paper bag.
Grace Helbig has a whole video on how you can use a paper bag as a Halloween costume. She has some pretty great ideas, my personal favorite being the “environmentally conscious ghost.” I’m going to throw in my own idea: Wear the paper bag over your head and when people ask you what you’re supposed to be say, “Really ugly.” It’ll be great.