7 Animals That Would Make a Better President Than Donald Trump | The Odyssey Online
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7 Animals That Would Make a Better President Than Donald Trump

When an actual zoo feels like less of a zoo than America's political situation

Danielle Purdy
Oct 15, 2016
SUNY Oneonta
103
7 Animals That Would Make a Better President Than Donald Trump
The Zoo Signs

The presidential race is getting pretty intense. Vote for whomever you'd like and believe in whatever you'd like, but here are 7 animals I think would make a better president than Donald Trump!

1. My Kittens

These are me and my boyfriend's rescued kittens, Marilyn and Rivy. They're completely adorable, wonderfully tempered, and don't interrupt when you're talking! They are, in all respects, better company than comb-over Donald.

2. Harambe

Good ol' Harambe. He'll never let us down, unlike fake-tan Donald.

3. A Dodo Bird

The Dodo Bird is extinct, just like I wish Donald was.

4. A Pterodactyl

Ah, the pterodactyl. Their loud, high-pitched screech closely resembles the sounds coming from my TV during the presidential debate.

5. Santa's Little Helper

The mangey greyhound from the extremely long running TV show, The Simpsons, is skinny, cross eyed, and entirely un-sexist. Obviously, he would be a complete step up in physical appearance as well as in the overall treatment of humans from Donald.

6. The Loch Ness Monster

The Loch Ness Monster is fake, which is exactly what I wish Donald Trump's Presidential campaign was.

7. Mike Tyson's Tiger

Mike Tyson's Tiger from the movie, The Hangover, would be incredibly scary to wake up hungover to...which is much less scary than waking up hungover to Donald Trump.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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6 Unrealistic Expectations Society Has For Young Adults

Don't let the thesaurus-inspired vocabularies in our résumés fool you. We're actually just big kids.

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Seriously, who wouldn't love pizza?

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Dedicated to February 14

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24767
sex and the city
Warner Bros. Television

1. You don't have to feel guilty about flirting with customers for tips (or just for shits and giggles).

2. You can be obnoxiously flirtatious with anyone you want. You are free to be that girl that flirts with everybody and makes 'em all smile (it's especially fun when the guy is as cute as Collin Jost). No shame.

3. Making random men nervous with your superior beauty and intense eye contact just for the hell of it is really amusing and empowering.

4. No one gives two poops if ya legs are hairy (your man shouldn't either but *Kermit the Frog meme* That's none of my business)

5. The toilet seat will remain down.

6. There's more money to spend on yourself.

7. There's always this secret butterfly in your tummy that marvels at the possibility that when you go out this weekend you're gonna meet someone super handsome/wonderful/prince-like and have this moment of dazzling dalliance.

8. Nothing is that serious...you can take it all with a grain of salt...you don't owe anybody anything.

9. You can dance with anyone and everyone...or no one (Hello frat boi w/ glasses, I see you).

10. You don't have to fluff anyone's ego but your own.

11. Free drinks and dinners from single guys (It's not taking advantage if they're offering; a girl's gotta eat).

12. You have more time to learn how to love and improve yourself rather than constantly pouring your energy into another person.

13. You don't have to sacrifice your cheesy Jen Aniston rom-coms and Gilmore Girls for his Fast and Furious/other dumb action movie featuring blonde that is only in the movie to supply a relationship to the male lead and to make him look more masculine/empowered in juxtaposition (In other words, you don't have to deal with a guy being a crabby Patty while you watch your cute movies).

14. You can daydream about what your future husband may be doing right now (and not get stressed/guilty out because you're not picturing your current boyfriend that's crazy about you as your future husband).

15. There is more time to be spent with your girlfriends.

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Each sign is determined by the relative positions of celestial bodies to ourselves at our moment of birth, which is said to influence our personalities. Find your zodiac GIF below, based on the traits and characteristics provided by each sign.

***Disclaimer: GIFS are meant to be lighthearted and are based on descriptions of signs from http://www.astrology-zodiac-signs.com/.

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