If you don’t know what it’s like to work in retail, consider yourself lucky. If you’re one of the rest of us who've had the pleasure of that experience, you know you can’t wait to get out. Freedom from the retail industry is all you think about. Whether you graduated and found a job in your field or you’ve moved on to greener pastures by getting a paid internship in your field – whatever the case may be, you’re so grateful. You're the chosen one!
When the end of your time in retail is nigh, here are some things that you will think and that will probably happen.
1. Oh, wow! This is it! I actually got a job doing something I'll like!
2. Wait, do I have to give two weeks notice? How does this even work?
3. Yes, two weeks notice would be appropriate.
4. I’d like to give them two days notice, but whatever.
5. Wait, when does my employee discount run out?
6. *Frantically checks policy*
7. The moment I walk out the door at the end of my last shift?!
8. This will not do.
9. The employee discount is the best part!
10. It’s the only reason I’ve even stayed this long!
11. What do I even need from this place before I leave?
12. *Frantically makes list*
13. Wow. That’s a lot of things.
14. *Checks bank account*
15. Wow. That’s too many things.
16. Adjusts list.
17. Hmmm... Well, if I skip lunch each Thursday for the rest of the month I could add those things back…
18. Yep, I need those things.
19. I should call Mom and tell her I got this job!
21. Mom: "Wait, so when does your discount run out? Oh, well can you pick up a few things for me then and I’ll give you the money?"
22. Adjusts list.
23. Mom: Dad probably needs XYZ things too!
24. Adjusts list.
25. I should call my friends and boyfriend/girlfriend and tell them!
26. Everyone I call: "Wait, so when does your discount run out? Can we go shopping before then? I’ll pay you!"
27. Adjusts list for the fourth time.
28. Well. The list is five pages long now. Totally doable.
29. No one will ever think that I’m buying things for other people.
30. I've never turned in a two weeks notice. Hopefully, this goes well. My manager is sad to see me go? Wish I could say the same if the situation was reversed.
31. My last day is set. Sweet relief. I feel like I'm halfway to being a new person.
32. I can’t wait to never be here again. I'll probably be a whole new person for sure. This place has definitely sucked my soul in a very Dementor-like manner. I've split my soul into at least three Horcruxes that I sold to customers.
33. Oh, crap. I need to buy clothes for my new job!
34. Better add that to the list…
35. Now it’s six pages long.
36. Whatever. I need it.
37. Three days before the final shift. I'm so ready to be out of this life-sucking black hole.
38. So close but yet so far!
39. Wait, no one has come shopping with me yet. Should I text them?
40. Oh God, now they’re all texting me wanting to go at different times on different days!
41. Whatever. I’ll just buy it all and they can pay me back. I know what they all want and like anyway.
42. *Checks bank account*
43. I can maybe do that.
44. Gets 25 more texts about shopping.
45. Yes, definitely doing that instead. This is too much.
46. They’ll go when I go, or they won’t go at all.
47. Whew. Shopping is done. It only took three and a half hours.
48. Now for everyone to pick it all up and pay me back.
49. That needs to happen, stat.
50. I need to make a deposit basically tomorrow.
51. *Frantically texts everyone*
52. Whew. Only one person left. I seriously need to make this deposit in the morning. Thank God.
53. I feel much better about being able to pay my rent now.
54. It’s the day of my final shift! Hooray! Should I look nice for work today? Nah.
55. Oh wow, I forgot that I actually like some of you.
56. I may actually miss you.
57. God, why does this make me so sad? I better not cry.
58. I shouldn’t be sad to leave here. I don’t even like this place.
59. Oh my God, did I actually like this place and not realize it?
60. *Customer asks stupid question that they could’ve answered themselves*
61. *Same customer argues and asks for a manager because they don't like the answer they got*
62. Oh, never mind. Yep, I’m not sad anymore.
63. Peace out store. It was fun while it lasted. I can’t wait to never see you again.
64. Two months later you call your friend from your retail job: "Can I use your discount? I really need a new pair of shoes for work!"
What are some things that happened when you left retail? Comment below!
