1. I'm so excited, I've been waiting four years for this!
2. These opening ceremonies better be awesome.
3. How do I become one of those bike rider people that lead the athletes in?
4. Where's the U.S.?
5. Up next! Wait, another commercial? Seriously?
6. Well, that was thrilling.
7. OK, this can be over now! Time for sports!
8. Sports.
9. Are we competing?
10. This is so exciting!
11. America rocks.
12. This bike race is still on?
13. I'm about to go to bed.
14. Oh, wait, gymnastics!
15. Yeah, I could totally do that.
16. OK, maybe not.
17. Where can I sign up for a gymnastics class?
18. That wedgie looks horribly uncomfortable.
19. OMG how do their bodies do that?
20. I'm still waiting for someone to pull a beam routine like Wei Wei does in "Stick It."
21. Why do gymnasts wear so many barrettes in their hair?
22. Have they tried bobby pins?
23. These girls are the most fierce and talented girls in the history of the world.
24. Kind of want to keep watching, kind of want to catch up on my TV show.
25. This only happens once every four years, keep watching!!!
26. We won again!
27. How many times do you think they show the Christ the Redeemer statue during commercial transitions?
28. Katie Ledecky is literally a fish.
29. She's iconic.
30. Our country is the coolest.
31. Wait, I forgot about the presidential election currently happening. Never mind.
32. How do you keep score in a tennis match?
33. Male swimmers look pretty much naked in their swimsuits.
34. Swim faster!
35. Nooo, Michael Phelps didn't get first!
36. Just kidding, that was a preliminary race.
37. Wow, that was nerve wracking.
38. What's on next?
39. Rugby is terrifying.
40. Sorry, no, I don't want to be tackled just for fun.
41. Sand volleyball!
42. Block that!
43. Dive for that!
44. Even I could do better than that!
45. Well, probably not, but still.
46. He's so tall!
47. Does sand volleyball play to 21 or 25?
48. How do rowers row in a straight line if they are facing backwards?
49. I would've crashed by now.
50. They have huge arm muscles.
51. Michael Phelps' thigh muscles are about the size of my waist.
52. He has got to be like 50 years old by now.
53. His kid is also adorable.
54. *gets emotional while watching a medal ceremony*
55. Swim faster!
56. Poor Ryan Lochte.
57. He's so talented but rarely gets the spotlight!
58. He could do without that blonde hair, though.
59. They're all so fit and healthy.
60. My life is pathetic.
61. I should work out more.
62. I'm hungry.
