It has been said that Pennsylvania can be described one way: Pittsburgh and Philadelphia, with Alabama in the middle. For those of you who live under a rock and are unaware, the central portion of Pennsylvania is very rural and also very unique. People who come from Central PA have an extremely specific culture. If you don’t understand anything on this list, odds are you do not hail from Central Pennsylvania.
1. You had the Monday after Thanksgiving off of school for the first day of hunting season.
2. One time there was a weather make-up day on the first day of hunting season and two-thirds of the school was absent (and that isn’t an exaggeration).
3. You have hit a deer with your car, or know someone who has.
4. You don’t think eating venison is strange.
5. You get personally offended when someone says they don’t like Yuengling.
6. Lebanon bologna and Country Store meats were a staple of your diet growing up.
7. Your area code is either 570, 814, or 717.
8. You have had an argument with other areas codes about which one is best (570 forever, clearly).
9. As soon as you tell someone your high school had an agriculture class that butchered cows, they suddenly assume you came straight out of the movie “Deliverance.”
10. You or at least ten people you know drive a pickup truck.
11. You or someone you know has a cabin.
12. People not from Central PA don’t understand that cabins are often as nice as a second house, and you are not living like a feral person when you stay at one.
13. When someone asks you where you're from, you cringe on the inside because you know they won't know your town or any town near it.
14. So when you do tell people where you're from, you just say Williamsport, Harrisburg, Scranton, or Altoona, hoping that maybe some people have heard of those places.
15. Since there are no large cities closer to you than about three hours away, people you know cheer for a variety of sports teams.
16. Like, I understand that we have some leeway with our favorite teams, but what makes someone from the middle of Pennsylvania such a die-hard Green Bay Packers fan?
17. You have to travel over an hour to shop at a mall where there are any decent stores.
18. In high school, being able to go to Forever 21 was a huge treat, considering the closest one was in King of Prussia.
19. It was a huge deal when the mall got an Old Navy.
20. It was a huger deal when Target started opening stores in “Pennsyltucky."
21. You know what “Pennsyltucky” means.
22. Growing up, you didn’t know anyone who drove a Mercedes or BMW, and if you did, they were probably really pretentious in your mind.
23. You are baffled when you hear people from “outside Philly” ask another person from outside Philly where their town is.
24. Because you have a good grasp on where every town within a 60-mile radius from you is located.
25. When you meet someone else from Central PA, you get overly enthusiastic.
26. When you told people you were going to Penn State for college, people would immediately ask, “Main?”
27. Going to Penn State “Main” is basically like saying you’re going to Harvard.
28. You know someone who rented land to the natural gas industry and made a small fortune.
29. You know even more people who tried to see if they could rent their land to the natural gas industry.
30. Most people couldn’t rent their land to the natural gas industry.
31. You probably graduated high school with 150 people or less.
32. You don’t think deer heads are that tacky of a decoration if placed in the correct room.
33. You were not exposed to anyone who isn’t a WASP until you left for college.
34. You cringe when you drive by that inevitable house that has their Christmas lights up in March.
35. Tacky inflatable holiday decorations chilling in the front yard are a normal sight.
36. Sheetz will forever be better than Wawa.
37. There is a strong contingency of people in your town who call themselves hicks, think they are from the south, and think that the Confederate flag is appropriate.
38. You cringe when people associate you with the aforementioned people.
39. You are confused as to how you haven’t completely bottomed out your car yet while driving over inevitable potholes.
40. When TV shows reference any place in Pennsylvania, you get overly excited.
41. Hershey’s chocolate is the only chocolate.
42. Pork and sauerkraut.
43. You get annoyed having to explain all the weird alcohol laws to your non-PA friends.
44. Everyone is a Penn State fan.
45. People always try to tell you that you have an accent.
46. You don’t have an accent.
47. But you do know at least one person that says “wash” like “worsh.”
48. You frequent Knoebel’s Amusement Resort.
49. You find it hilarious that “Resort” is part of Knoebel’s name.
50. Going to the beach is a big deal, considering the fact that the closest one is five hours away.
51. You know someone who has had their wedding reception in a fire hall.
52. You also know someone who has had their wedding reception in their backyard.
53. You don’t know patience until you have driven behind a tractor and not freaked out for it to move out of your way.
54. You hate out of state drivers.
55. Particularly if they’re from New York or New Jersey.
56. Everyone went to Ocean City, Maryland for senior week.
57. Your area has a very sparse selection of restaurants.
58. Someone always needs to be the designated driver when you go out with friends, because calling a cab means spending $30, and Uber is never even heard of.
59. You like to check the police reports in the local paper because you are sure to know someone listed.
60. You always talk crap on Central PA for being backwards.
61. But secretly, you love good ‘ole Pennsyltucky.
