I try to avoid making assumptions, but I do think that it’s safe to assume that you know who Elvis Presley is, given that you are a human being who lives on planet Earth.

I’ve been into Elvis since I was a young girl—my dad refuses to listen to music recorded past 1990, so I grew up listening to him. I also have an aunt with a wonderful passion for Presley, which included owning an Elvis shower curtain and a purebred basset hound named Princess Cilla Presley. Yes, a hound dog. Best part? Cilla the dog’s actual doggy dad was named Elvis. Amazing.

I have learned a thing or two from this beloved Elvis-obsessed aunt of mine.

In my tiny studio apartment, I have two framed pictures of Elvis, a show poster from 1956, an officially licensed framed “presentation” (essentially, 5 different promotional posters) from "Viva Las Vegas," an Elvis film. I have box sets of Elvis films, which is to say, yes, I have two copies of "Viva Las Vegas." There are three Elvis ornaments on my Christmas tree, and one of them sings. I have a teddy bear that wears an Elvis shirt. I keep my Q-Tips in a decorative Elvis box. I have Elvis magnets on my fridge, Elvis key chains, Elvis shirts, Elvis pens, Elvis coasters, another decorative Elvis box that I keep perfume in, framed Elvis records, unframed Elvis records, books about Elvis, editions of TV Guide with articles about Elvis from 2004 which include a tiny CD that looks like a .45 of early Elvis hits.

What was that? Oh yes, I am insane. Thank you for asking. I am also a hoarder—er, collector.

And I’m forgetting things, but you get the picture. Oh, here’s an actual picture from my apartment. It looks like this all the time, and the weirdest thing is that this isn’t even the weirdest corner of my apartment.

(Ahh, our nation’s greatest heroes—Elvis Presley, my mom and dad, Abraham Lincoln, and King Tutankhamun.)

Elvis, in my humble but absolutely factual opinion, transcends time and space. He is unarguably the most famous person who ever lived. He is famous in ways that boggle the mind and surprise even me, who spends an inordinate amount of time thinking about famous people, particularly Elvis. Because he died an early and untimely death, he will forever remain a somewhat mythical and godly to our shared cultural consciousness.

But we as a culture also have a tendency to try and uncover the root of all mysteries—we can never have anything secret and sacred, because we need to know all the gory details of every-damn-thing. Even Elvis cannot escape from this.

This past summer, during a vacation in Las Vegas, my aunt and I went to see the Graceland Exhibit at the Westgate, where Elvis performed over 600 shows almost 50 years ago. Here we are at the beginning of the exhibit, flushed with desert heat and beaming with Elvis excitement.

(So cute, right?)

The exhibit was amazing. The number of artifacts straight from Graceland were staggering. I saw things I never even imagined the existence of—some of Elvis’s pay stubs from his first job as a truck driver, his mother’s social security card, his graduation tassel, Lisa Marie’s baby shoes… it went on and on.

It was overwhelming. It seems that if not a single artifact with even the vaguest connection to Elvis has not been found, authenticated, and put on display. A few times I wondered why on Earth I was spending money to look at Elvis’s mom’s purse or the silverware from Graceland, but then I saw his actual outfit from Jailhouse Rock and had to stop myself from shedding a single tear.

I can admit that some of it is probably unnecessary. Graceland held an auction this summer with some of the very items that I saw at that Graceland exhibit—yes, anyone with an extra couple grand to spend could own their very own authenticated Elvis Thing, like his clothes or his rings or his financial reports from 1954.

Here are some of the weirder ones and their ultimate prices.

1. A Personal Check for $55.88

More remarkable than this tiny slip of paper surviving intact from 1956 is the fact that he got a plane ticket for fifty bucks. This sold for $4,250 and had 16 bids.

2. Army Issued Sewing Kit

Okay, this is the coolest. I’m not even going to pretend. Elvis used this to sew stuff. His fingers put those needles in that green felt cover. He used those scissors to cut thread. Oh my God. I’m having a moment. This sold for $2,750 and had 7 bids.

3. Racquetball Glove

I did not even know racquetball gloves were a thing, but I want this one. From what I can tell, Elvis wore it like once before he died. In any case, his actual entire hand was encased in this glove, so it sold for $5,000 and had 23 bids.

4. Early 1960’s Graceland Security Guard Shirt Worn by Elvis Presley’s Uncle

Not sure what exactly you would do with this, or why anyone would really want it, but here is the extent of Elvis mania. It sold for $2,500 and had 4 bids.

5. Receipt for Wedding Expenses

Elvis married Priscilla in 1967 at the Aladdin in Las Vegas, and this is a receipt of the expenses. Only $80.00 on fruit baskets? Come on now, Mr. Presley. Surely we can do better than this. In any case, you have to understand that Elvis is so famous that people are preserving and auctioning off his receipts.

6. A Yearbook (Not Elvis’s Yearbook, Just A Yearbook He Signed)

Ms. Frances Grear evidently did not want to hold on to this little Elvis flavored bit of her youth. She went to high school with Elvis and he signed her yearbook their junior year. “Best of everything to a very likable girl. Elvis.” Way to be vague, Elvis.