Congratulations, you've just moved into your first college dorm room! You've hugged your parents goodbye, hung out with your new roommate, and you are just now starting to think about how you want to personalize your first home away from home. Many college freshmen have a difficult time deciding whether they want their dorm room to be cute and artsy or protect them from the spawn of Satan. What if I told you you don't have to choose? Here are six decorations that will make sure your dorm room is the cutest and most demon-free room on the floor.
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1. Mason Jars of Holy Water
It's no secret that Mason jars are super hip, adding a rustic and classic feel to any living space. Fill these decorative jars to the brim with water from the Jordan River that has been blessed by a priest and you will always be ready for an oncoming demon attack.
2. Milk Crate Bookcase of Holy Books
With recycling becoming an increasingly popular trend among college students, there is no need to spend big bucks at IKEA for your dorm furniture. Find an old milk crate, clean it out, and place it sideways to hold all of your many holy texts. All of your friends will be proud knowing that you are environmentally conscious and have quick access to the prayers that can cast away an evil spirit.
3. Pentagram Throw Rug
Covering the empty floor space in your dorm with a throw rug is a great way to bring the room's decor together. With a pentagram conveniently sewn into the rug, this decorative piece will also provide a tunnel straight to Hell for any fallen angel who must be sent back to whence he came.
4. Tapestry of Matthew 16:19
Got a large blank wall space that is just begging for a tapestry? Say no more. Hanging up a colorful tapestry that reads "And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven" will add just the right amount of color to your room while also reminding you that some of the worst demons are born inside us.
5. Lamb's Blood Peace Sign
Nobody wants to live in the room with the most boring door on the floor. Spruce up your dorm's front door by smearing the blood of a freshly slain lamb in the shape of a peace sign directly on the door. Your visitors will rest assured knowing that your room is a peaceful space and will be skipped over by the angel of death searching for first-born children.
6. Christmas Lights
Draping the walls with Christmas lights is sure to bring a zen vibe to your dorm. Plus, demons hate Christmas.
