I don't think I've ever directly addressed the fact in these articles, but I have had spastic cerebral palsy from birth. This necessitates the use of a wheelchair on a regular basis. And while I have very understanding friends and family, I have learned that there are certain... annoyances that go unnoticed unless you are in a chair. So, I asked for feedback from my friends in the chair-bound community, and here are a few of the most common complaints.

1. Stairs (and only stairs)

They usually mean the end of whatever we had planned, especially if there are no alternative routes: the oldest enemy to mobility while in a chair. It means nothing to us that "it's only two steps." It means that we either have to rely on others to help us or change all of our plans. Ditto with no curb cuts and/or ramps.

2. Non Compliance to ADA standards (or bare minimum)

A rail in a bathroom does not mean it is accessible, and half of the so-called accessible stalls are nowhere NEAR big enough. The one elevator in the workplace not working should not be the thing stopping people from doing their jobs, and the beds at hotels should not be so high that we cannot get into them without assistance.

I admire the job the ADA set out to do, but what is the point if it is not enforced?

3. Parking

Problems under this heading include people who park in handicapped parking without a tag, people who park there just because it's convenient, people who balk when you need space to unload and the worst offenders, people who park blocking curb cuts and then refuse to move. Just thinking about it makes me angry. Don't do it, folks.

4. Travel

Having to plan four steps ahead of everyone else when you travel means not only do you miss going places because of the chair ,but that there is no spontaneity in any of your trips. Are the seats at the stadium wheelchair accessible? Is the car big enough? Is the bathroom accessible? All of these problems are only worsened if, (like me,) you cannot drive. Airlines apologizing profusely when your chair has been damaged in flight only helps so much when you are stranded as result.

5. Ignorance

I am not mentally incapable just because I am in a chair, and I have not been "touched by Jesus" every time I walk. Similarly, I do not appreciate it when you push the chair without asking me first. I can hear and understand when you make fun of me, and I am SO sick of your pity.

And finally, for this post anyway,

6. Losing friends

I have lost friends because, in their words, " I don't know how to talk to you", "I can't deal with people staring at us when we go out", and my personal favorite, "You need too much help." I eventually moved on, but I won't pretend like it didn't hurt me deeply. Same goes for not accounting for the disability when we make plans to go out..

I am sure I will write more articles like this in the future. Thanks to all the people whose feedback I was able to get and use through this Facebook group.