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Health and Wellness

6 Things to Know When Dating Someone With Mental Illnesses

No relationship is easy but hopefully these steps can prepare you.

Milan Harris

Oct 24, 2016

The Black Writers League

6 Things to Know When Dating Someone With Mental Illnesses

University of North Dakota

Dating someone with mental health issues is not easy and being with a partner who simply does not understand or care about them is even harder. Dating someone who is going through these mental hardships requires a certain level of compassion void of condescension. It takes a certain level of understanding. The following list explains things to keep in mind when dating someone with mental health problems.

1. If your partner is in a bad mood, it is not necessarily because of you.

Now if you triggered something in your partner, yeah it’s your fault; but, those random mood swings where your partner just seems “out of it?” They are not your fault and you cannot get defensive about them. Instead, of completely shutting out or retaliating, delve deeper. Find the root cause of this sudden change in mood. Talk to your partner.

2. Be understanding.

It is not easy to live with these issues. Show some empathy for your partner and don’t be a judgmental jerk. Do not make their life (and subsequently their emotional and mental health) more difficult by being cold and unyielding.

3. Listen.

Chances are it wasn’t easy for your partner to tell you about their issues. Be there for them and listen. Listen to what they say, listen to how they feel. Just listen. This is true for all relationships but in a situation in which one partner has opened up about their mental woes, listening is a key element. You also don’t want to trigger your partner by doing or saying something you wouldn’t have if you had been listening. Don’t just hear your partner, listen to what they have to say.

4. Don’t ever use their illness against them.

I shouldn’t have to explain this. Don’t be a douchebag.

5. Do not invalidate their feelings.

Coming from experience, it can sometimes feel as if you are being a burden by expressing your emotions, so for your partner to voice their emotions to you is a big deal. For you to shut down their emotions completely is disrespectful and an asshole move to say the least! Let your partner know they are loved and that they are not a burden. Do not invalidate their feelings. Do not invalidate their emotions.

6. Above all, treat your partner the way you want to be treated.

Form a healthy relationship that also isn’t co-dependent. Bring the best out of your partner, and let them bring the best out of you. Don't play with their heart or their emotions. Love is a two-way street and relationships have to be worked for. They aren’t ever easy, but they’re (usually) worth it.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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6 Things to Know When Dating Someone With Mental Illnesses

No relationship is easy but hopefully these steps can prepare you.

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The struggles of having an RBF are all too real

1. People asking if you're mad at them.

2. Those people who hand out flyers don't always try to stop you.

3. Creepy guys telling you to smile.

4. "I thought you were a bitch when I first met you."

5. People telling you you'd be "so much prettier if you smiled."

6. Doing your makeup and looking great, which somehow intensifies the bitch face.

7. Regularly explaining "it's just my face."

We all go through certain stages when we have a crush, Tina just explains it better.

That moment that someone you never looked twice at suddenly makes you do a double take out of no where.

But you can't have a crush, that's outrageous. It's all in your head.

Because you don't have a crush, there's no reason to tell anyone about anything. Right?

But then they do something irresistible and you start to lose it.

Now accepting the fact you have a crush, you have to keep it under control.

Then there's the part where you tell your friends who will claim they called it.

They'll be excited and cheer you on. That's until they realize that your crush is all you'll be talking about.

Your obsession has become so bad, that your Facebook stalking is getting out of control.

But your friends will try and help move things along any way they can. That doesn't mean it will be any helpful though.

As time goes on, you start having fantasies about the two of you and it's starting to scare you a little.

You can't focus on anything because all your attention is on them and everything they do.

Anybody who comes near your crush is now an enemy, and you are willing to fight for your crush.

When you see them, you act like an idiot. Trying to hide your feelings may not be as discrete as you think.

Keeping your feelings inside will start to be harder and harder until you can't keep it inside anymore.

Who knows, maybe it will work out? Take a chance.

Everybody hurts sometimes.

May the odds be ever in your favor.

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3. Senioritis is more real than ever.

4. You may feel a little down sometimes.

5. Fear of missing out won't be as real.

6. You are a college pro.

7. You'll have more free time.

8. You're happy you're still in school.

9. You feel like a guru.

10. You continue to grow.

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