What comes to mind when you hear the word rebound?
Heartbreak, one night stand, fake love, lead on…. and many more.
Rebounds aren’t always a bad thing. Sometimes they turn into the most beautiful thing, and other times they help us and grow us into a better person.
In life, we will all have a rebound at least once in our lives, and we will be someone’s rebound. It isn’t always the best feeling, but sometimes it’s the best thing to happen to us. This could open our eyes up to what’s important to us. No matter what the outcome, what matters is how you handle it.
Here are a few different things to think about when thinking about rebounds:
1. “I think I’m over them.”
Sometimes in life, we break-up with someone and think we’re over them. The relationship might have been so bad for so long that we were emotionally out of it before it was officially over. Maybe the person you broke up with was so crazy he/she made it easy to move on. Maybe it was just a mutual agreement to move on because you both are in two different places in your life. Whatever the situation deep down you still really care about this person. You begin to miss how that person used to make you feel, how they use to treat you, how they use to be there for you. You miss having someone that you could call your own and someone that you could tell everything to and who was your “ride or die”. This whole process is when you begin to catch a rebound.
2. “I didn’t do it on purpose.”
Rebounds aren’t picked on purpose. Rebound is found because you miss that special person’s presence. You meet someone new and think they are lovely and they begin to make you feel just as good or better than our ex. This makes our broken heart want for them. So, we begin to “fall” for them. We begin to let ourselves fall back into something. Our heart is craving that loving feeling we are so used to the feeling.
3. “ I need to find myself.”
After a relationship, you need some time for yourself. This time is a time when you begin to get over this person. Even if you think you are over someone right away, take some time. Take some time because sometimes in life you won’t know how much you miss someone until you see them or see something about them. This is when the suppressed feelings begin to come up, and then you start to hurt again. This hurt is okay, it’s part of the healing process, but the last thing you want to do is hurt someone else because you hurt.
4. “ I’m the rebound, I don’t know what to do.”
Being the rebound is something hard too. You have to help build this person back up. You have to make them feel wanted again, and put the puzzle pieces of a broken heart back together. When you begin to notice you’re the rebound, make sure to step back and become a best friend. Don’t try to get serious with this person. Try to help them find themselves again and learn what its like to love life for themselves. They say lovers of friends never, friends to lovers forever. If you like this person is their best friend will feel exactly right. Some time down the road you can become that significant other in their life. I know sometimes it’s hard to watch people hurt but sometimes that’s what needs to happen to feel better. Be the support in their life! Sometimes in hard times you just need that person to talk to, the person will feel more comfortable sharing things with you if you aren’t significantly involved because they won’t be worrying about ruining the relationship.
5. “ I need to fill this void.”
The key to healing after a break up isn’t finding someone new…. a rebound. All the rebound does is fill a void in your life. It doesn’t help you get over the person you loved. The rebound is just someone that can give you the physical and mental affection you are missing because you are single. This person isn’t someone you love. You love the idea of this person, and chances are when you’re on your rebound all you want is your ex. Think about the rebound’s feelings. I know you’re in a low place and need someone, but you need a best friend, not a lover.
6. “ Can’t believe I was just a rebound…”
The impact of being that rebound is devastating. The person works so hard to make you happy and puts their whole heart into the relation, just for you to be half-heartedly in the relationship. That’s not fair. When you are half-heartedly in a relationship, it makes the other person feel like trash, unwanted, used. When you make someone your rebound, you play with their feelings. You don’t want to make someone else hurt because you need to fill a void. Make sure to think about other’s feelings too.
Rebounding isn’t always precisely all of that, but you need to make sure before you get involved with someone new, you are ready and over that ex of yours. You don’t want to hurt someone else because you are hurting yourself. Rebounds aren't terrible, but they can hurt people.
"Never allow loneliness to drive you into the arms of someone you know you don't belong with."
