"Sentimental" is defined as “excessively prone to feelings of tenderness, sadness or nostalgia.”
I am not sentimental. I can admit that. It takes a lot for me to be solely sincere and not humorous. I don’t know why. I just feel weird trying to be sentimental about anyone. And I’m not alone.
1. A room full of crying people is your worst fear.
There is nothing more uncomfortable to me than being in a room during a heartfelt, tear-jerking occasion. When everyone around you is crying, whether of happiness or sadness, you’re cringing because you just don’t get it. No matter what the emotion of the event is, you don’t see any good reason to be crying about it.
2. You’re bad at comforting people.
Because you don’t get sentimental, it’s hard to know how to comfort someone who is sentimental. You don’t quite understand why they’re sentimental about that particular thing or event, but you can’t be a jerk about it and leave them. You’re the master of the awkward, silent back pat, but you know anything that comes out of your mouth will sound very insensitive.
3. Being forced to be sentimental is like pulling teeth.
Being put in a situation where you’re forced to be cheesy and sentimental makes you feel like you’re going to vomit. It physically pains you. For your little’s Big-Little Reveal, you gave her a small picture frame chalkboard. Instead of writing “Dream Big, Little One” and other cheesy sayings like that, you wrote “You Gon Learn Today, Little” on it, a Kevin Hart joke turned into an Internet meme. (True story).
4. Holidays are what nightmares are made of.
Mother's Day? Father's Day? Thanksgiving? No, thank you. While everyone around you is saying heartwarming, touching stories and speeches about loved ones, you're trying to figure out how to make a joke about your dad that will get the whole room laughing. (Another true story.)
5. You don’t get the obsession with nostalgia.
Finding Dory is one of the biggest movies coming out this year, and yet you have no dying urge to see it, unlike your entire Facebook feed. The memes about knocking down little kids just to get into the theater make you contemplate whether this person should remain on your friends list. You understand being nostalgic about something that meant a lot to you, and you do get nostalgic about some things. But it seems like everyone is completely infatuated by every little thing that entertained them as a child. If you have to hear, “I miss the '90s,” one more time from someone who was three at the turn of the century, you might just lose it.
6. Inspirational home decorations with sayings are the bane of your existence.
You love going into Kirklands, Hallmark, etc., but as soon as you see the wooden box decorations with cute sayings on them, you question why you walked in. You wonder why anyone thinks that a wooden box with “Grateful, Thankful, Blessed” painted on it would make a great home décor look. You cringe when you see them in someone’s house. The whole idea of buying something when a cheesy saying makes you want to turn the object away from you.
7. Genuinely complimenting people is a happy miracle.
You were born without a tender bone in your body. You cannot compliment someone without turning it into a joke, just so it’s not fulling sweet. So when you are able to actually open up and be seriously sincere towards someone, you feel like a miracle worker.