6 Ways To Be An Asshole On The Road | The Odyssey Online
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6 Ways To Be An Asshole On The Road

A guaranteed step-by-step guide.

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6 Ways To Be An Asshole On The Road
Howcast

Have you ever noticed how often people say "yeah, people can't drive around here." Chances are, whether you live in a big city or small town, you hear, or even find yourself saying this at least 3 times a week. If I'm being completely honest, I am very guilty of road rage and aggressive driving. But, after wrecking my car a few times I've come to the realization that it's just not worth it. I don't want to be the cause of someone's road rage, and when I experience road rage it really doesn't do any good for me.

Road rage and aggressive driving don't do anyone any good. This is my plea to all drivers to try and be more patient. To remember that this is not a video game; that we are operating heavy machinery and that we don't get a new life if we screw up on the road. Here a few things not to do on the road, to keep you and everyone else safer.

1. Not use your turn signal

This is honestly one of the most infuriating things to me. I can not stand when someone cuts in front of me without using their turn signal. Or worse, when I'm trying to turn left and they end turning and I'm just left there waiting and thinking about how I could have already gone if they would have done a simple karate chop to the left of the steering wheel to turn on their turn signal.

2. Cut someone off

Just don't do it! It's a real dick move!

3. Ride in my trunk.

If I'm going the speed limit or slightly over, there is no need for you to be so close to my car that I feel like you're riding with me. Back off or pass me!

4. Be glued to your phone

Again, I'm not perfect. I am guilty of doing this on several occasions. I have to admit it may not seem like a problem to you, but I assure it really is. Even making a phone call can cause you to not pay enough attention and wreck. So figure out what hands-free option works best for you.

5. Go slow in the fast lane.

I mean this is just common sense. There is nothing worse than someone doing the speed limit or less in the fast lane. If you want to drive at a leisurely pace then you need to be in the right lanes.

6. Drive after drinking

Unfortunately, this happens way too often and it doesn't always end in tragedy, but when it does it's one of the worst tragedies there is. Even if you think you're a "good" drunk driver or you've never gotten caught, it's still a very bad idea. You won't be so lucky every time, so it's in your best interest to just not do it.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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1. You don't have to feel guilty about flirting with customers for tips (or just for shits and giggles).

2. You can be obnoxiously flirtatious with anyone you want. You are free to be that girl that flirts with everybody and makes 'em all smile (it's especially fun when the guy is as cute as Collin Jost). No shame.

3. Making random men nervous with your superior beauty and intense eye contact just for the hell of it is really amusing and empowering.

4. No one gives two poops if ya legs are hairy (your man shouldn't either but *Kermit the Frog meme* That's none of my business)

5. The toilet seat will remain down.

6. There's more money to spend on yourself.

7. There's always this secret butterfly in your tummy that marvels at the possibility that when you go out this weekend you're gonna meet someone super handsome/wonderful/prince-like and have this moment of dazzling dalliance.

8. Nothing is that serious...you can take it all with a grain of salt...you don't owe anybody anything.

9. You can dance with anyone and everyone...or no one (Hello frat boi w/ glasses, I see you).

10. You don't have to fluff anyone's ego but your own.

11. Free drinks and dinners from single guys (It's not taking advantage if they're offering; a girl's gotta eat).

12. You have more time to learn how to love and improve yourself rather than constantly pouring your energy into another person.

13. You don't have to sacrifice your cheesy Jen Aniston rom-coms and Gilmore Girls for his Fast and Furious/other dumb action movie featuring blonde that is only in the movie to supply a relationship to the male lead and to make him look more masculine/empowered in juxtaposition (In other words, you don't have to deal with a guy being a crabby Patty while you watch your cute movies).

14. You can daydream about what your future husband may be doing right now (and not get stressed/guilty out because you're not picturing your current boyfriend that's crazy about you as your future husband).

15. There is more time to be spent with your girlfriends.

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