We live in a world where we are bombarded at every turn by commercials, media, radio and even friends via social media telling us we "need" something to be happy. Our possessions seem to tell the world how successful we have become, how satisfied we are with our lives, and how much fun we have. Why would a person willingly choose to abandon this litmus test for success? How difficult is it to embrace minimalism? Here are six things that I've learned so far on my very short journey towards becoming minimalist.
1. If you're going to eat an elephant, you have to eat it one bite at a time.
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At first, it may sound like a great idea to jump in and just trash all the clutter, but it can also be very overwhelming. In some ways, a person's things help to define who they are and when one purges their excess things they may feel like they are giving up pieces of themselves or their loved ones. It is best to take charge one chunk at a time.
2. As long as you're making progress, you are succeeding.
You don't have to go at lightning speed. Cleaning out your entire house on a weekend may sound like a great idea, but minimalism is more about creating a new habit and that takes some time. It is about transforming one's relationship with consumerism and "stuff." My house is not a minimalist house yet and I'm okay with that because I am slowly noticing a difference within our space as well as within myself.
3. Minimalism is possible with kids.
Not only is it possible, but I've made it a top priority. And your first question is, "Well what about their toys?" Okay. Are you sitting down? Here goes. The less toys they have, the more they play with the toys they do have. My oldest child has watched me rehoming and selling my things for some time now. When I brought up the idea to her that it was time for her to give some of her toys away, not only did she agree, but she willingly filled two very large boxes of her toys with enthusiasm. I didn't force her, she actually wanted to do it. It blew my mind. Halfway through the process of clearing out her room, I realized why she was so happy to comply as I watched her playing with a toy set she hadn't touched since we purchased it. She overwhelmed. She somehow must have innately knew what I had to learn, the way kids often do, that humans function better with less stuff cluttering up the space around them.
I tried not to let her look in the boxes of toys in the meantime until they were rehomed, but I was almost even more shocked when the time came for someone to pick up toys and my daughter was thrilled to give them away to another baby that "needed them," as she said. I was so proud of her in that moment. It is moments like that when I know that I'm moving in the right direction.
4. You will begin to learn who you really are.
Moving in a direction toward a minimalist lifestyle is a journey of self-discovery. What do you really need? What do you truly enjoy? This is true throughout our household, but especially in my own closet. I realized, as I held each item deciding if it sparked joy for me, that I had been purchasing items for my ideal self instead of my true self. I wear the same 20 or so pieces week in and week out and yet I continued to purchase things I thought were pretty, but just weren't "me." I never wore them. As I downsized my closet, I realized I like black a heck of a lot, skirts are just not for me and two pair of blue jeans are more than enough. A year ago it would have been very hard for me to downsize to this extreme because of the regret of money spent on the items, the possibility of needing the item one day or simply just guilt. I keep reminding myself through this process how much I hate putting up laundry and the other ways in which I'd prefer to spend my time like sitting in the floor with my kids.
5. The father I journey, the more liberated I feel.
When I initially began de-cluttering I didn't begin with a goal in mind. I was simply trying to clean up a huge mess. I became swallowed up by anxiety and frustration at the very thought of conquering my clutter. I've began visualizing the end result of how I would like our space to be when I finish this first major step and that has made a world of difference. Now that I have a goal in mind the past few months have not only been relatively anxiety free, but the process has been fun! Each time I fill a bag with clutter, I get a mini high knowing that I'm being liberated from the burden of my time being stolen caring for stuff.
6. As I clear my literal space, I also clear my mind.
I am a person who is biologically inclined to depression and anxiety. It has been a struggle all my life not to over think myself into a hole and bury myself in guilt. Clearing my surroundings of clutter has been more beneficial and more effective than any therapist or any pill. I feel free. I am free from my own mind. I had no idea the ripple effect which would come from clearing out the physical space around me. Yet, I've only just begun.
Minimalism has been a journey of which I'm just beginning to notice a difference both within myself and in our home. It's been a process of identifying and dealing with complex emotions behind why I have so much crap to begin with and also the difficult feelings of letting go of somethings that were given to me by someone who is no longer present. I hope I can update you soon on this journey as it progresses.
