1. What you really like to do for fun

With no friends or siblings there to entertain you, you figure out how to entertain yourself. You figure out what truly brings you joy just by doing it. I personally love sitting outside and reading. I could do it for hours on end and never get bored—books, magazines, you name it—and I’ll read it so long as it’s beautiful outside. I’ve also realized I love eating, working out, and walking my dog by myself. Everyone is different, so you’ll never know until you try!

2. How to have internal dialogue with yourself

It may sound dumb, but talking things through with yourself is really helpful. It allows you to see how you really feel about something, opinion totally unaltered by the thoughts of others. You learn how to talk yourself through possible triumphs and failures, and how to critique yourself honestly.

3. What clothes you really want to wear

When you don’t have the opinions of your mom or your friends, you discover what your style truly is, because it’s you, and only you, who creates an opinion on whether something is worth buying. I’ve had experiences where my friends tell me something looks so cute on me and I HAVE to buy it, which I do, and then it just sits in my closet because even though they loved it, I never choose to wear it on my own. Shopping and getting ready by yourself gives you the space to style yourself your way without outside opinions or pressure.

4. When you are actually hungry

I don’t know about you, but a lot of times I will eat when I’m with people simply because they are eating as well. If my friends pull out a bag of popcorn or a bowl of grapes, it’s a near guarantee that I’ll stick my hand in and join the feasting fiesta. Conversely, if I’m starving but the group I’m with isn’t collectively hungry, I may go hours without eating when my body really needs fuel. When you are by yourself, you realize the inner workings of your metabolism and when it’s time to either lay on or lay off the energy.

5. How to make a decision and know it is 100% your own

When you decide to send a text to your crush, did you think of every word, or did you talk it over with your friends? Is that REALLY what you would say all on your own? Or how about when you accept that job just because your parents are putting a lot of pressure on you, even though you had the chance to interview for a job you liked more? Spending time by yourself allows you to sort through what thoughts and actions are truly yours versus what has been influenced by others in your life. This is not me saying parental or friend advice is a bad thing; in fact, a lot of times they may have better foresight than you. However, being conscious about what decisions are all yours and which ones incorporate advice from others is a useful tool to have.

6. How to be confident in who you are and what you do

Being alone in private can often feel like you are being “lame” or antisocial. And the first time I explored alone in public, I was embarrassed to be seen by myself. I thought that people would think that I didn’t have any friends or anything better to do. Making the deliberate decision to do things on your own instills a sense of pride and confidence in your abilities. You CAN go out to eat alone. You CAN watch a movie without a friend to gossip with or a boy to cuddle with. You CAN make a decision without the approval of 10 of your closest friends and their moms. You have an incredible amount of power and ability just by simply relying on capable, awesome you.

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