If you've ever stepped foot in the gym of Penn State's White Building, you know that daily struggle all too well of wanting to get in a good workout but not wanting to waste your time standing behind ten other students who are also waiting for the oh-so-desirable treadmill. Sorry not sorry that I'm not going to settle for another machine. Let's be real: everyone wants to burn the most calories possible because how else would we get away with our guilty food pleasures/look good going out/attempt to stay in shape? Waiting for a treadmill is honestly the WOAT and can instantly kill your vibe considering you were just patting yourself on the back two seconds ago for dragging your butt to the gym, only to have to watch others work out for 15 minutes until someone gets off. It's like watching paint dry, I swear. Here are some other painful things that closely match the wait for a treadmill at white building:
1. Almost getting hit by a bicyclist.
While this may seem dramatic, it's so true. Whenever you're walking to and from classes and pass people on their bikes who seem like they just might hit you on the side and you have to quickly get out of the way, that's what it feels like at the gym. You're just trying to pass by the chaos of everyone hogging up the machines and just get to an open machine safely, and quick enough before someone snatches it. Sometimes it really does feel like it's every man for himself.
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2. Not making it in time for an on-campus dining service.
Only at Penn State would dining halls close at 7:30 p.m. and the hub dining options be closed on the weekends. Just like how there's nothing worse than not making it in time at somewhere you wanted to eat, there's nothing worse than going to the gym at the wrong time and suffering a long line for a treadmill. Words to live by for all gym-goers: the earlier, the better. The gym opens at 9 a.m. so anytime between that and noon is your best bet. Anytime after that, welcome to a war zone.
3. Showing up to a class that you didn't know was canceled.
We've all done it before. Not seeing that email is a classic rookie mistake. So is not checking the white building hours. Fun fact: they don't open till noon on Saturday's and Sunday's. You thought waiting for a treadmill was bad? How about showing up to the gym all dressed only to have to come back later? No one wants to experience this kind of pain, especially on the weekends, so save yourself the trouble and always check ahead.
4. Losing your headphones.
Most of us literally cannot survive a workout without our headphones to listen to our favorite music. This is kind of like how most of us have zero patience when it comes to waiting for a treadmill. We want to rip the workout off like a band aid. Nothing describes the pain of waiting for a machine like losing your most prized workout possession.
5. Waking up for an 8 a.m.
You know that feeling when your alarm goes off at an unreasonably early time and nothing sounds more frightening than leaving the comfort of your bed? That's what it feels like waiting for a treadmill. You know that you could technically skip class, or a day at the gym, but your guilty conscious tells you otherwise. You can't deal when it comes to the ridiculous lines at the white building and it's arguably as painful as getting up in the morning.
6. Waiting to see if Trump or Clinton becomes president.
Obviously, no one wants to do that. Just like the election, we just want to cut to the chase. Or in the case of White Building, we just want to hop on a treadmill already. It's painful not knowing what our country is soon to be in for, just like it's painful not knowing if you're going to get a treadmill in the next five minutes or five years. We want to see results, whether that's who our 2016 president will be or how many calories we've burned for the day. These few more dreadful weeks leading up to the election perfectly describes the wait for a treadmill at white building.
So how do we combat this treadmill tragedy? Get to the gym earlier. Maybe go for a run instead. Or just pray that everyone is feeling extra lazy that day.
