Anybody who live in Statesboro can attest to the fact that the weather down here gives a new, more literal definition to the word "bi-polar." You really never know what you're gonna get even on a day-to-day basis. Sometimes the Weather app on your iPhone just doesn't do the back-and-forth nature of the weather down here any justice. For example, last week I threw on jeans and a hoodie to go to my 9 a.m. class. When I woke up, that outfit was sensible, but by the time noon rolled around, I had taken off my sweatshirt and was still dripping sweat walking to class. On any given week it could be 75 and sunny on Monday — by Wednesday, it honestly could be freezing cold and pouring down rain.
Keeping that in mind, here's a list of six things that are more consistent than Statesboro weather.
1. My debit card balance
I can expect the "how do you have $0.47 left?" talk at least once a week. Dead Turtle shots are a cruel mistress. Damn you, dingus. (Just kidding, love you.)
2. The title/tracklist of Kanye's new album
Two hours after my last article on Kanye's upcoming album was published, he changed the name from "SWISH" to "Waves." Then a few days later, it was changed again to "The Life of Pablo." This was all after he had changed it from the original title of "So Help Me God" ... bold move, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off.
3. Your college sleep schedule
4. My inquisitive grades from last semester
Yikes.
5. The rate at which people use their turn signal in Statesboro
I'm not sure what it is about this town, but it feels like there are a disproportionate number of terrible drivers down here. I have this inner monologue far too often as I'm driving, "Okay, why are you slowing down in the middle of the road? ... oh, you're turning ... you know they make something called a turn signal for that right?!," which is usually followed by me making the expression of the guy above.
6. The quality of Landrum pizza
If you get it still hot, fresh out of the oven, Landrum pizza can be a near magical experience. If not, I hope you like deep-dish cardboard.
Warning: The above image is not one of Landrum pizza, so ... don't get too excited.
As I write this article, it's about 60 degrees, sunny and without a cloud in the sky outside. Just beautiful. Alright, I better get my parka ready.
