If you’re from New Jersey or New York and you don’t know what a Benny is, you most definitely are one. If you’re on vacation at the shore over the summer, you’re a Benny. The term Benny is actually an acronym for Bayonne, Elizabeth, Newark and New York which is where most Bennys hail from. They tend to stay in beach towns for the summer and are usually super rich. Growing up in a beach town where Bennys liked to spend their summers, I’ve got a few things to say.
1. Keep the beach clean.
We get it, you’re on vacation. But when you leave for the summer, the locals still live here. We need our beaches clean not just for ourselves, but for the entire Earth in general. Ever heard of climate change? Pollution? Yeah. You leaving your beer bottles and soda cans on the sand for the ocean to take in isn’t helping the environment and it makes our beaches look gross and the way our beaches look reflects on us locals so clean up your mess.
2. Use your blinker and do the speed limit.
Do they teach you how to drive in North Jersey and New York? You have this thing in your car, it usually looks like a lever on the left side of your steering wheel and you can push it up and down. Usually, it makes a blinking noise, you use it when you want to make a turn or switch lanes. Also, we have these things in Central New Jersey called “speed limits” where you have to drive a certain speed to keep the flow of traffic. Sometimes you guys like to go faster and try to demolish everything in your path with your new Range Rover or sometimes you like to drive 20 miles per hour in a 35. This is a concept that continues to baffle me.
3. Tip is 20%.
Tip 20%, or maybe even more if the waiter or waitress was super nice to you. Also: please realize that food service people, or any worker that you encounter while at the shore, is a person. And they do complain about you to their friends and family when they go home. No worker likes a rude Benny.
4. Thanks for boosting our economy.
While I’m rambling on about how terrible you all can be, I know you guys are a vital part to my community. You Bennys help New Jersey beach towns thrive and help out economies so we can attempt to keep taxes low and make living by the beach year round without having to sacrifice an arm and a leg each month possible for the locals. So thanks for spending your money Bennys. We really appreciate it.
5. Don’t Make Parking a Boxing Match.
If you see someone about to park in a parking spot and you don’t see another one for miles, please don’t be a jerk and slide into that parking spot. That’s happened to be three times this summer. All three times it was a Benny. Have some decency.
6. It’s Pork Roll. Not Taylor Ham.
This isn’t even an argument.
