6 Things Every “Bottom-Bunker” Knows Too Well

I reside in the bottom bunk of my one-room triple. It was an accord agreed upon mostly through discussion with my roommates, and partly because I was the first to move in. I’ve realized that with the great privilege of snoozing in the bottom bunk, comes great responsibility, as well as countless other things. Here’s six things you’ve experienced if you’re lucky enough to live in the bottom bunk.

1. The Party Bed

Trust me when I say that everyone will be on your bed, I mean EVERYONE. New guests in the room? You can bet that their bottoms and callous-ey college feet will find abode in nothing other than your mattress. Spent a night out dancing? All your friends have already been notified that the post-game will be in your bed!

2. Crumbs

In continuation of the festivities centered on your bed, you can definitely rely on crumb-riddled sheets. Everything from the large pepperoni pizza ordered with your roommates, to the oreos your friend scarfed down whilst crying about a boy will collect in your bed. It’s kind of like a scrapbook of crumbs.

3.No longer your bed

If, for some reason, you do not spend the night in your bed, but rather elsewhere, you can undoubtedly expect coming home to your roommate fast asleep in your bed with an empty box of pizza.

4. The desk

Seeing as though your bed is the most accessible, it will become the desk when you’re actually using your desk. Everything from headphones, notebooks, water bottle, your backpack, and anything else collected onto your desk will be shoved onto the bed once you finally decide to use it.

5. Mom Comments

With the influx of people and food your bottom bunk will see, you will find yourself saying “nag-ey” comments in a sad attempt to reserve the sanitation of your sleep. Some of my favorites include: “please don’t put your shoes on my bed when you’ve been walking in the rain,” “please don’t throw my white blanket on the floor so you can sit,” “how about we don’t eat chipotle on my bed?,” and my favorite, “can you move over so I can sit too?”

6. Wash your sheets

Seriously, you need to wash your sheets as often as possible because at the end of the week it is not a pretty sight to see. (much less sleep in)