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7 Things About Being The Single Friend

What it's like being the single friend

Kasey Davis

Nov 02, 2016

Heart Land

wordpress

In a group of friends, there is always that one friend in a sea of relationships who is off on the sidelines drinking their beer and stuffing their face with pizza, while the couples are sucking face on the couch.

That's me.

via">http://giphy.com/gifs/friends-college-seinfeld-8TJ... GIPHY

1. Single jokes will be made...by me.

While sitting in the couples gathering, I enjoy making comments about how single I am. But it's okay, I don't have to share my food or beverage with anyone and I get a bed to myself, so who is really winning here?

via">http://giphy.com/gifs/good-delight-VpdXiB5xwWLmw">... GIPHY

2. Constant gagging noises will be made...by me.

You start kissing? *gags* Start saying cute mushy stuff *throws up* Cuddles in front of me *projectile vomit*

via">http://giphy.com/gifs/movie-jim-carrey-disgusted-y... GIPHY

3. I can drink as much I want without worrying about someone getting upset.

Couples always take turns getting drunk, "you got drunk last night it's my turn" "oh baby, you go ahead I'll take care of you". SCREW THAT! I'm doing it every night; why? Because I can.

via">http://giphy.com/gifs/maroon5-maroon-5-dont-wanna-... GIPHY

4. You don't have to babysit anyone

This ties in with #3 why can't you both get drunk and enjoy each others drunken-ness with each other? If you can't take care of yourself when you go out then you probably shouldn't go out in the first place. It's not your job to babysit your significant other, I've been in this position before and IT SUCKS!

via">http://giphy.com/gifs/drinking-12Ryk0QunsRg8o">via GIPHY

5. Mo money? No problem!

I can spoil my damn self for Christmas, as well as get my own bottle of wine and chocolate for Valentine's Day!

via">http://giphy.com/gifs/season-3-money-unicorn-3osxY... GIPHY

6. Hakuna Matata

I have too often listened to my friends worry about what "bae" is doing. While I'm listening to this, I can't help but thank Jesus I don't have to worry about that nonsense, while nodding my head in agreement and saying, "oh yeah he better not!"

via">http://giphy.com/gifs/summerbreak-summer-break-sb3... GIPHY

7. No shave November

Friend: Ew, I have to shave I'm seeing bae tonight. Me: *as I'm braiding my leg hair* Nope, can't relate.

via">http://giphy.com/gifs/season-11-the-simpsons-11x18... GIPHY

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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7 Things About Being The Single Friend

What it's like being the single friend

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This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

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