When you’re dating with a language barrier, you have a weak spot in the most important aspect of the relationship -- communication. It’s tough to have a distinct divide between what you mutually can talk about, and what you want to talk about. Misunderstandings will happen all the time during these relationships; It’s hard, but with a lot of work and patience, it can produce a lot of success, and things will start to get easier as time goes by. Here are six struggles faced when dating with a language barrier:
1. You’ll probably get confused and upset more than the average couple.
This is understandable because people from different cultures think differently. You’ll get confused about how your loved one feels about things based on how they use their words or possibly even the lack of. You’ll probably find the difference in culture to be challenging. You might not feel the love or appreciation the way you would like to, based on the way they have been raised in their culture, and by the way they communicate.
2. You’ll never be sure if you got them right.
When you don’t understand their language, it’s hard to understand them completely. The gap between what you think you know versus what they actually feel can be a lot. It's often very overwhelming as well, so it's normal to feel unsure. It’s not the best to feel clueless as to what they are thinking or feeling, and it is often easier to create a distance if it’s not mutually worked on.
3. Although one person is going to try learning a mutual language, don’t ever disregard the hard work of the other person.
Although the person learning the new language is struggling with their own caveats of culture and terminology, the other has to deal with teaching despite the possibility of being offended (can happen on accident!). It’s very easy to lose patience when someone makes you feel negative by what they incorrectly or unintentionally said. It might be hard to teach people tone, but it’s also hard to hear someone be offensive or rude even if it’s by accident. Regardless, it’s difficult for some people to move on from what others have said even if it was a simple mistake in delivery. The person teaching the other person struggles a lot as if it is also them trying to learn something new.
4. It will be very annoying.
Often you’ll wish to have things easier by being in a relationship that naturally doesn’t have a language gap. You would save a lot of time, frustration, and emotional energy by avoiding it altogether. Therefore as hard as it can be for you to decide how much energy you will spend on making this relationship work, hopefully the other person provides enough gratitude and support for you as well. If things don't feel equal or mutual, it's not your job to stay with them especially when you're not treated the way you deserve.
5. If there is no balance created, things will be very unfair.
You might start to feel like you’re being taken advantage of by the other person if things are not balanced. You have to choose whether the other person puts enough effort into making you feel that your hard work is paying off. They should ideally remind you that they are very thankful to have someone willing to help them out on something that is not your job. They need to be able to demonstrate that they admire that this is not done out of anything but your own love for them. It’s a hard task that most people consider to be a dealbreaker, and you know exactly why. It just all depends on how willing the other person is to work with you on making sure you feel just as much effort from them as you put in. You don't want to feel that you're "too nice" for them.
6. You will have a time where you feel extremely insecure and that there is little trust in the relationship.
It hurts a lot when you’re spending your energy to help someone, but all they seem to do in return is to make you feel unappreciated by resorting back to their native language constantly around you. If the other person is not sensitive to your feelings, it can particularly ruin the relationship. Think about having a personal trainer work very hard to motivate and suggest you to end your unhealthy habits, but suddenly realize that their client has been eating junk food regardless in front of you! It’s extremely disrespectful and frustrating to see someone you’re trying to help disregard your efforts like this. It's almost the same level as telling them that you are taking their care for granted. Occasionally, seeing them read and communicate in their language is okay, but if they're not making any effort to start switching over even throughout their lives is when it's not okay. When they choose to speak/text in the native language to other individuals you might feel unsure about, you can feel annoyed and frustrated. It’s also understandable to feel like the other person might be betraying you behind your back when they seem to flirt with other strangers you don't know. This is not okay because you've done what you can, and it's up to them to convince you why you should trust them. Otherwise, it’s not your job to find out reasons you should stay. You already put in a lot of work towards them, it's about time that they start as well.
This kind of relationship is not ideal for anyone who is not serious. A lot of time and energy will be put into helping each other understand each other. One person should not feel like they’re working more than the other person, otherwise this is a clear reason why you are upset about your relationship. Communication is the number one rule for maintaining and strengthening your futures with each other. So as long as you see them in your life in the future, work as hard as you can to make things work. It’s very hard, but it’s possible to overcome only if both parties are willing to give more than they take. Let them know how you feel, even when it's hard. You need to take care of yourself, and to find an extraordinary person you have no doubt is worth your time
