My dear “youths,”
I know exactly what you are going through. It's not easy loving music that was created when your parents were children. Here are just some of the difficulties we face just to listen to the music we love:
1. You’re by far the youngest at the concert
You often find that your true musical kindred spirits are old men who tie their white hair up in ponytails and wear Hawaiian shirts. As a result, standing up and/or dancing is a luxury that is reserved for only the most popular songs. No moshing to be had here.
On more than one occasion you will have to answer the question “what are you doing here?”.
Bright side: You will see your fair share of middle-aged people going wild – smoking weed, getting drunk, dancing like crazy – which is a treat in and of itself.
2. Every show empties your wallet
Even going to these concerts is a feat. Prime seats at a Rolling Stones concert can cost thousands of dollars. Nosebleeds at a Billy Joel gig can be hundreds. You literally have to scrape together every penny you have just to see one show.
The irony is, the next week you'll watch a documentary on the Rolling Stones and find out they used to give FREE concerts.
Woodstock was free. Let that sink in.
Then you start researching “how to build a time machine” so you can go back and live in the decade you were supposed to.
3. The lack of knowledge is absurd
We have to make the following clarifications way too often:
1) “Landslide” was written and first performed by Stevie Nicks of Fleetwood Mac, not Dixie Chicks. And yes, Stevie Nicks is a woman.
2) The lead singer of the Rolling Stones is named Mick Jagger (his first name is Michael). He does not go by the stage name/last name McJagger. McJagger is not a thing.
3) Jimi Hendrix did not die of a heroine overdose, he took too many sleeping pills one night.
4) The Beatles did not write “Twist and Shout.” Elvis Presley did not write “Hound Dog.”
4. They’re all going to die soon
It’s sad to think about, but it’s completely true. It something every responsible classic rock appreciator should think about.
Bowie. Prince. Those were losses from just this year, and you can’t help but think about who’s next. You must compile a list of bands you must see in the next year so you can experience their magic before their time has come.
Bright side: Keith Richards is the exception. Science tells us every time you smoke a cigarette, 1 year is taken from your life and given to Keith Richards.
5. Today’s music can’t even compare
Sure, some of it's cool. Talent didn’t completely die with MTV.
But listening to the top 40 stations today makes you want to cry. Watching the Grammy’s makes your heart and ears sad.
So you crawl into your room, crank up the Led Zeppelin, watch Eric Clapton interviews and imagine a universe where One Direction doesn’t exist.
6. You’re too cool for everyone
So keep on listening my little whippersnappers, we have to keep this music alive!
