The hardest part of relationships is that there isn't really a handbook that they come with to tell you what to do. There aren't any user troubleshooting guides or “support” pages, because every couple is different and different people deal with conflict in different ways. There are, however, a few basic principles for keeping your relationship the best it can be, whether you just had your first date or you've known each other for years. Here are the basic principles to keep your relationship the best it can be:
Show that you care
Everyone just wants to know that someone cares about them. It's what makes us feel fulfilled. Showing your SO that you care can be as simple as bringing home their favorite candy when you go food shopping, or sending them a good luck message right before they take a big exam. It’s the little things that add up to a
happy big picture.
Give them some space
Nothing puts out a
fire quicker than being smothered, literally and figuratively. Take some time for you and your SO to breathe every once in a while, because you aren't one person, you're two people who came together to be even more awesome than you were before and you need to keep that individual awesomeness intact so that you can use it with them in the future, too.
Communicate
Nothing kills a relationship faster than miscommunication. Most arguments in a relationship have been created on the basis of miscommunication, and then solved via effective communication. It's hard to put your feelings into words sometimes but it's even scarier to imagine losing someone just because you didn't say how you felt.
Be patient.
Everyone has bad days. Bad exams. Bad interviews. Bad experiences. Your job is to be there and be patient, to support your SO when they're not having a good time, and to be patient with them when they're being difficult. It goes both ways, being patient and understanding of each other is key when you're trying to deal with any kind of conflict.
Never run out of things to talk about
Seriously. You're having new experiences every single day and if you're taking some time apart to breathe every once in a while whether it's with your classmates, at a job, having new stories to tell from time spent with some girl friends or your bros you, will never run out of things to talk about. If really nothing exciting is happening in your life at the
moment, talk about your childhood. Talk about whether you believe in aliens, ghosts,
God, talk about quantum physics, or your dreams, because there are endless opportunities to learn new things and teach each other.
Never stop trying
Many couples who have been together for a long time take each other for granted. This should never be done. There's a reason you're with each other and you must show each other how
grateful you are for each other every day, not just sometimes. The minute you stop trying is the minute you're beginning to give up on something special that you put a lot of effort into for a long time, and unless you're not happy any more or you want to be alone, why would you take your SO for granted?
By following these tips including patience, effective communication, and attention, you'll be well on your way to having a happy and successful long term relationship with your significant other.
