6 Stages You Go Through Before Becoming Friends With An Ex | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Relationships

6 Stages You Go Through Before Becoming Friends With An Ex

Here is how to become friends with your ex

2311
6 Stages You Go Through Before Becoming Friends With An Ex
Trinity Kubassek

They say that Rome wasn't built in a day. Well, that perfectly applies to becoming friends with your ex as well.

In fact, it may take what feels like a lifetime before you can finally act normal around them and get over that weird eye twitch every time they look at you.

Don't worry, I've got good news for you - becoming friends with your ex is possible. Here are the six stages you will go through in order to achieve it.

1. Incessant social media stalking

Image by Fancycrave

Breaking up.with someone initially means cutting off all contact, which can make you feel super lonely.

My ex and I used to text all the time, and after the breakup my phone.went deadly silent. It felt like I had lost my best friend.

Instead of being mature about it and keeping a little distance until emotions settle,.I dove head-first into stalking his Facebook, insta and even his LinkedIn. Yes, LinkedIn.

I wanted to feel like I was still a part of his life, when this really wasn't the case.

2. Hating on their new bae

This one is perhaps the most self-destructive phase.

Sooner or later, one of you guys gets another partner. If it's your ex, this will drive you insane, as you are still in the social media stalking phase, remember?

You will cry over their new relationship and find a million flaws in their new bae: "why the f does she wear her hair like that, she's such an emo!" Or "it's spelled 'you're,' you dumb bimbo."

Unfortunately, none of this hate will make you feel better,.but only drag you deeper down into misery. This brings us to stage three.

3. Completely banning their existence from your thoughts

Image by Pixabay

You will try anything to forget your ex ever existed. Yes, even hypnotherapy. (It doesn't work by the way, save your money).

The logic here is that if you ban thoughts of them from entering your mind,.the pain will stop. Well, it won't.

Trying to forget your ex's existence creates unnecessary resistance and wastes your valuable energy.

Instead of going against the grain,.you should accept the situation. Meditate on it. Don't resist the fact that your ex is out there in the world, just accept that fact and choose to focus.on something else instead.

4. Missing them like crazy

By now,.you're probably standing in the rain listening to Charlie Puth's "We don't talk anymore" and sobbing.

Since your ex was most likely one of your closest friends, you will inevitably miss them.

Your other friends won't understand the inside jokes, won't know how you like your coffee and won't secretly watch The Kardashians with you.

It's perfectly normal and acceptable to miss your ex. This is the first step towards establishing a friendship with them, so don't feel bad.

5. Wanting them back

Image by Pixabay

Beware of this one.

Some months post-breakup, I used to desperately google "how to win your ex back," believing that these strategies would bring them back into my life and make the mystery of missing them disappear.

You have to make a clear distinction in this stage - do you miss the love of your ex or their company? I.e. do you want to have sex with them or do you miss the conversations? Very often, it's the latter, but people just pass it off as missing the whole thing. That's where you get in trouble.

Recognize what it is about your ex that.you miss. This will help you build a friendship from the ashes of the breakup.

6. Moving on and becoming friends

After admitting to yourself why you miss your ex,.you can finally reach out to them.

About a year after a bitter breakup, I messaged my ex and.told him that I missed our talks and his company. He was dating someone else, but that wasn't a problem, because.I had acknowledged that what I missed was his company, not his romantic love.

He felt the same way, and we are now very good friends.

Breakups are painful and take time to recover from. Allow yourself this time and take it easy through the six stages. Be true about your feelings and you'll be in the clear sooner than you know it.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Adulting

18 Things I Want To Do Now That I'm 18

I'm technically an adult, so I'm legally required to live a little, right?

1701
Happy Birthday Cake

For the entirety of my high school career, I was always seen as the goody-two-shoes. I never got in trouble with a teacher, I kept stellar grades, and when I wasn't doing extracurricular activities, I was at home studying. Even when I did go out, it was usually with a bunch of fellow band geeks. The night would end before 11:00 PM and the only controversial activity would be a fight based on who unfairly won a round of Apples-to-Apples when someone else clearly had a better card (I promise I'm not still holding a grudge).

Now that I'm officially an adult, I want to pursue some new things. I want to experience life in a way that I never allowed myself to do prior to entering college. These are the years that I'm supposed to embark on a journey of self-discovery, so what better way to do that than to create a bucket list?

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

10 Life Lessons from Christmas Classics

The holiday classics that shaped my life

1032
Flickr

The holiday season is full of stress, debt, and forced conversation. While we rush through the month of December, it's important to take a step back and enjoy the moments before they're gone. Most families love to watch Christmas movies, but these beloved films provide more than entertainment. Here are 10 life lessons that I've learned from the holiday classics we watch every year.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

200240
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

Most Epic Aurora Borealis Photos: October 2024

As if May wasn't enough, a truly spectacular Northern Lights show lit up the sky on Oct. 10, 2024

20906
stunning aurora borealis display over a forest of trees and lake
StableDiffusion

From sea to shining sea, the United States was uniquely positioned for an incredible Aurora Borealis display on Thursday, Oct. 10, 2024, going into Friday, Oct. 11.

It was the second time this year after an historic geomagnetic storm in May 2024. Those Northern Lights were visible in Europe and North America, just like this latest rendition.

Keep Reading... Show less
 silhouette of a woman on the beach at sunrise
StableDiffusion

Content warning: This article contains descriptions of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

When you are feeling down, please know that there are many reasons to keep living.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments