6 Stages You Go Through Before Becoming Friends With An Ex | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Relationships

6 Stages You Go Through Before Becoming Friends With An Ex

Here is how to become friends with your ex

2311
6 Stages You Go Through Before Becoming Friends With An Ex
Trinity Kubassek

They say that Rome wasn't built in a day. Well, that perfectly applies to becoming friends with your ex as well.

In fact, it may take what feels like a lifetime before you can finally act normal around them and get over that weird eye twitch every time they look at you.

Don't worry, I've got good news for you - becoming friends with your ex is possible. Here are the six stages you will go through in order to achieve it.

1. Incessant social media stalking

Image by Fancycrave

Breaking up.with someone initially means cutting off all contact, which can make you feel super lonely.

My ex and I used to text all the time, and after the breakup my phone.went deadly silent. It felt like I had lost my best friend.

Instead of being mature about it and keeping a little distance until emotions settle,.I dove head-first into stalking his Facebook, insta and even his LinkedIn. Yes, LinkedIn.

I wanted to feel like I was still a part of his life, when this really wasn't the case.

2. Hating on their new bae

This one is perhaps the most self-destructive phase.

Sooner or later, one of you guys gets another partner. If it's your ex, this will drive you insane, as you are still in the social media stalking phase, remember?

You will cry over their new relationship and find a million flaws in their new bae: "why the f does she wear her hair like that, she's such an emo!" Or "it's spelled 'you're,' you dumb bimbo."

Unfortunately, none of this hate will make you feel better,.but only drag you deeper down into misery. This brings us to stage three.

3. Completely banning their existence from your thoughts

Image by Pixabay

You will try anything to forget your ex ever existed. Yes, even hypnotherapy. (It doesn't work by the way, save your money).

The logic here is that if you ban thoughts of them from entering your mind,.the pain will stop. Well, it won't.

Trying to forget your ex's existence creates unnecessary resistance and wastes your valuable energy.

Instead of going against the grain,.you should accept the situation. Meditate on it. Don't resist the fact that your ex is out there in the world, just accept that fact and choose to focus.on something else instead.

4. Missing them like crazy

By now,.you're probably standing in the rain listening to Charlie Puth's "We don't talk anymore" and sobbing.

Since your ex was most likely one of your closest friends, you will inevitably miss them.

Your other friends won't understand the inside jokes, won't know how you like your coffee and won't secretly watch The Kardashians with you.

It's perfectly normal and acceptable to miss your ex. This is the first step towards establishing a friendship with them, so don't feel bad.

5. Wanting them back

Image by Pixabay

Beware of this one.

Some months post-breakup, I used to desperately google "how to win your ex back," believing that these strategies would bring them back into my life and make the mystery of missing them disappear.

You have to make a clear distinction in this stage - do you miss the love of your ex or their company? I.e. do you want to have sex with them or do you miss the conversations? Very often, it's the latter, but people just pass it off as missing the whole thing. That's where you get in trouble.

Recognize what it is about your ex that.you miss. This will help you build a friendship from the ashes of the breakup.

6. Moving on and becoming friends

After admitting to yourself why you miss your ex,.you can finally reach out to them.

About a year after a bitter breakup, I messaged my ex and.told him that I missed our talks and his company. He was dating someone else, but that wasn't a problem, because.I had acknowledged that what I missed was his company, not his romantic love.

He felt the same way, and we are now very good friends.

Breakups are painful and take time to recover from. Allow yourself this time and take it easy through the six stages. Be true about your feelings and you'll be in the clear sooner than you know it.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Entertainment

15 Times Michael Scott's Life Was Worse Than Your Life

Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1706
Michael Scott
NBC

Most of the time, the world's (self-proclaimed) greatest boss is just that, the greatest. I mean, come on, he's Michael Freakin' Scott after all! But every once in a while, his life hits a bit of a speed bump. (or he actually hits Meredith...) So if you personally are struggling through a hard time, you know what they say: misery loves company! Here are 15 times Michael Scott's life was worse than your life:

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

12 Midnight NYE: Fun Ideas!

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

16483
Friends celebrating the New Years!
StableDiffusion

When the clock strikes twelve midnight on New Year's Eve, do you ever find yourself lost regarding what to do during that big moment? It's a very important moment. It is the first moment of the New Year, doesn't it seem like you should be doing something grand, something meaningful, something spontaneous? Sure, many decide to spend the moment on the lips of another, but what good is that? Take a look at these other suggestions on how to ring in the New Year that are much more spectacular and exciting than a simple little kiss.

Keep Reading...Show less
piano
Digital Trends

I am very serious about the Christmas season. It's one of my favorite things, and I love it all from gift-giving to baking to the decorations, but I especially love Christmas music. Here are 11 songs you should consider adding to your Christmas playlists.

Keep Reading...Show less
campus
CampusExplorer

New year, new semester, not the same old thing. This semester will be a semester to redeem all the mistakes made in the previous five months.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

Let's face it, last semester you woke up with enough time to brush your teeth and get to class and even then you were about 10 minutes late and rollin' in with some pretty unfortunate bed head. This semester we will set our alarms, wake up with time to get ready, and get to class on time!

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

The 5 Painfully True Stages Of Camping Out At The Library

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

3466
woman reading a book while sitting on black leather 3-seat couch
Photo by Seven Shooter on Unsplash

And so it begins.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

Camping out at the library is not for the faint of heart. You need to go in as a warrior. You usually have brought supplies (laptop, chargers, and textbooks) and sustenance (water, snacks, and blanket/sweatpants) since the battle will be for an undetermined length of time. Perhaps it is one assignment or perhaps it's four. You are motivated and prepared; you don’t doubt the assignment(s) will take time, but you know it couldn’t be that long.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments