Breakups just suck. Watching someone you care about go from being your best friend and companion to an awkward acquaintance in a matter of days is never easy. I am no relationship expert, but I've seen enough relationships end to notice these six stages of heartbreak.
1. The Taylor Swift Stage
This is the stereotypical reaction that most people expect after a breakup. All you want to do is curl up in bed wearing your coziest, most unattractive sweatpants and probably your ex boyfriend's t- shirt, eat insane amounts of unhealthy food and grieve. I call this the "Taylor Swift" Stage because if you're anything like me you will probably continuously play songs like "All Too Well" and "You're Not Sorry" and "Last Kiss" for days on end; basically any song that makes you cry your eyes out but also makes you feel way better because Taylor Swift totally just gets you and what more could you ask for?
2. The Me Time Stage
After you're (temporarily) done feeling sorry for yourself you will most likely have a stage in which you realize that being a single woman leaves SO MUCH ROOM in your schedule for activities. During this stage you will most definitely pour all your free time, energy, and enthusiasm into improving yourself. This stage is one of the only ones on this list that I actually encourage because from my experience, you can take some really good habits away from it and it helps distract you. During this stage you will go to the gym (almost) every day and try to eat super healthy, this is the perfect time to finally attempt all those fun workout ideas and clean eating recipes you have pinned on Pinterest. You'll probably buy outfits online that would totally be part of your dream closet but will sit in your actual closet for months because you have no idea what to wear them for. You will also probably study a lot more than normal and develop an extremely out-of-character Type A personality, you might even start showing up for all of your classes! The point of this stage is to prove to yourself that life can be totally fine, and maybe even better, without a boyfriend. Embrace the benefits of making yourself a priority.
3. The Clingy Friend Stage
When you start to realize that you may have more free time than you know what to do with, or that spending your free time alone causes you to think too much (and thinking about a breakup never ends well), you will try desperately to avoid relapsing into the first stage, hence the Clingy Friend Stage. Maybe during this stage you want your friends around to listen and support you, maybe you want them to distract you, either way you want them around... a lot. You will probably start inviting yourself to every event possible, food runs across campus, meetings, even study sessions at the library. You will be horrified when you walk in your room after a long day to see that your roommate is not there, and will probably immediately text her and beg her to come home. But don't worry, that's what friends are for, and the good ones will want nothing more than to be there for you.
4. The Question Stage
Once you totally reach the realization that it's over, you will start to question everything that ever happened during the duration of your relationship. You will replay every discussion or fight you ever had with that person and wonder if you could have said something different. You will wonder if he's met someone else yet, what his friends and family think of the breakup, if he's as sad as you are, if there's something you could do to get him back. A million questions will run through your head and you will desperately want to text him and ask him every single one. My advice: don't. Relationships end for a reason, whether that reason totally makes sense at the time or not.
5. The Rebound Stage
The stage we all know and love to hate... Believe it or not I genuinely think this is the first stage that shows you are getting over someone. I'm by no means agreeing that "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else," because rebound hookups just make the situation more complicated and almost always result in regret. But the second you start thinking about other guys and what they think about you is the second you start caring a little less about what your ex thinks of you. Putting a little more effort into looking good for classes, re-downloading Tinder, wearing your cutest outfits out on the weekends and flirting with new guys can all be good things, as long as you're not doing them for the wrong reasons, like to make your ex jealous, and as long as you think about your decisions and don't fall for a new guy before you're ready.
6. The Acceptance Stage
Sometimes it might not seem possible, but I promise it totally is. It might take way longer than you expect; there's probably going to be several times that you think you've reached this stage and then realize that you are definitely not over it yet, but eventually you will be. As cheesy as it sounds, time does heal all wounds. There will be a time when you see a picture of your ex and a girl show up on your newsfeed without wincing, a time when you can pass him on your way to class and say hi without being awkward, a time when you can date someone without comparing everything to him, and maybe even a time when the two of you can actually be friends.
Heartbreak is terrifying but unfortunately it's inevitable sometimes, but not to worry, life goes on.
