Once upon a time, I was young, spry and full of energy. I could run 120s without batting an eye, and I hated getting subbed out of soccer games. Now, as I still try to act like my body is capable of doing such things, I can't even sprint down a field a few times without needing a water break. My once impeccable body is full of bad college decisions and scars due to my clumsiness on the field and not so deft moves. I still love playing the beautiful game, but I finally let myself come to the realization that I am washed up. Quite horrid, if you will. Slow. Old. And out of shape. If you are in your twenties, and like me, did not play college ball but still like to go out and play in "beer leagues," you may be a washed up soccer player too.
1. You're Shocked at How Tired You Get
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As I mentioned before, it's amazing how much we used to run at practice, in games and for the love of god, those horrible days of playing three soccer games for a tournament in 100-degree heat. No wonder I was able to eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted! I quickly realized I couldn't eat like I used to once I stopped playing competitive soccer. I used to hate getting subbed out, but now when I play in my just for fun leagues, I am practically begging every 30 minutes for someone to come relieve me. Unfortunately, I play with a bunch of other washed up players as well, and none of them like stepping up to the pitch.
2. Pre-Wrap is Still Your Favorite Hair Accessory
Of all the headbands that I have ever tried in my lifetime, nothing quite gets the job done like pre-wrap does. It stays in place, you can have fun colors and it's cheap and easy to use. I would still like to rock the pre-wrap, but something just doesn't feel right since I actually don't play competitive soccer anymore and it's kind of a soccer player thing. I can't pull off the sporty look anymore. Now I just look like trash when I wear athletic gear, rather than cute and athletic.
3. You're No Longer the Best in Pick-Up Games
I used to be that cocky girl who knew she could hold her own playing a pickup game with a bunch of boys. Now, I'm happy with myself if I don't trip over the ball. Okay, I'm not that bad, but it's still weird not being the best or even close to the best when I go play for fun. I still have some moves that work, but these younger, faster people can run circles around me now. It's exhausting, embarrassing and frankly not really worth it anymore.
4. Old Injuries Flare Up
How quickly we go from hating when older people complained about their injuries to being those exact people. It was always annoying when they blamed their blunders or lack of athleticism on that old knee injury from 10 years ago, and now I am so one of those people. Fractured ankles from 2006 and two ACL surgeries weren't even that bad in my golden days. I bounced back and recovered like the nimble girl I was. Now, I can't even take a walk in the cold without it feeling like someone is stabbing my knee with a knife repeatedly. Sometimes it helps, though. When you really mess up and do something totally humiliating like whiff the ball, you can just hold your knee and yell an obscenity and people will just think it was because of the injury. You have to find a silver lining in everything.
5. You Show Up to Your Games 10 Minutes Before They Start
Competitive soccer and a social life? HA. Not possible. One soccer game was an all-day event. From driving an hour to the fields, warming up almost two hours before the game and then doing a cool down, you were at the field from morning until evening. Now when I play in my adult rec leagues, we show up 10 minutes before the game starts. I don't even stretch really. I just go out there and hope nothing breaks or tears.
6. You Play for the Beer After the Game
Everyone knows when you play in adult leagues, it's really only so you feel less guilty when you catch happy hour when it's over. Do it for the alcohol and chips and queso.
