6 Reasons Why Jeeps In Suburbs Are The Most Tragic Sights | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Lifestyle

6 Reasons Why Jeeps In Suburbs Are The Most Tragic Sights

No Wrangler should suffer like this

1987
6 Reasons Why Jeeps In Suburbs Are The Most Tragic Sights
Mondo727 from Jeepforum.com

Johns Creek, Georgia, is a quiet, posh suburb about 30 minutes outside of Atlanta. If you are resident of this community, you know that one car is so popular it’s become a part of the town’s identity: the Jeep, specifically, the Wrangler. A hardcore offroading machine with unparalleled capabilities, a car that can go literally anywhere. In most people's minds, the Wrangler is the Jeep (as I will be referring to it.) With nearly 19,000 sales per month, it is undoubtedly the most popular car in Jeep's lineup; everybody from teenagers, soccer moms, businessman dads to retirees wants this hardcore, offroading machine. Why? So they can pick up groceries from Target, commute to work or pick up their kids from soccer practice. In fact, most Jeep Wranglers will spend their entire lives stuck on the pavement, never to be used to their full potential. It is quite possibly the saddest and the most tragic sight on our roads. Here's why no Jeep deserves to live its life stuck on the pavement.

1. It wasn't built just to dawdle around the suburbs.

The Jeeps are adventure machines, designed to climb the trails of Appalachian, crawl through Tongass National Forest, dash across the dunes of Mohave or according to General Eisenhower, win World War 2. All the technology its designers crammed under its hood means that it can withstand nature's toughest obstacles while still being a decent road car. Its prowess on rough terrains are only matched by cars like the Range Rover, Toyota Land Cruiser and the Mercedes-Benz G wagon; all three of these cars costs three times more than the Jeep. It's a shame, then, that most people who drive Jeeps in town are soccer moms wearing those humongous Tory Burch sunglasses and teenagers who vape like chimneys; the sort of people who probably don't know how to use the electronic sway bar disconnect system or engage the four-wheel-drive.

2. Most owners will ruin it

This is how most Wranglers will end up looking like: lifted higher than God himself and festooned with hideous rims and tires that are about 15 times bigger than the owner's head (or intelligence.) Most of these modifications are purely cosmetic, serving absolutely no functional purposes both on-road and off-road. So do they make the car look better, then? No. Let's be honest, most lifted Jeeps look outright hideous. Not only do they look terrible, fitting excessively big lift kits and big wheels (like the one above) will dramatically worsen its fuel economy, reduce engine power and put tremendous stress on vital components, basically killing the car.

3. It's actually not that good on the road

It's not terrible on the road, but because it was designed to be so good off-road, the Wrangler compromises in quite a lot of areas. Its chunky off-road tires don't handle asphalt well and produce a lot of noise, its ride is about as composed as that of a barge and its boxy design means the car is about as aerodynamic as Donald Trump's hair. And because it gets about as same gas mileage as a minivan (17 mpg on city and 21 mpg on highway), it's also much more expensive to feed for a car of its size. Unless you're actually an enthusiast who intends on going offroading every weekend, the Jeep is a compromise that's just not worth it.

4. You don't need it

As I mentioned, the Jeep Wrangler comes with a sophisticated four-wheel-drive system, electronic sway bar disconnect and limited-slip locking differentials to aid drivers on the world's most unforgiving terrains and harsh conditions. An average American suburb is not exactly a mountainous peril, is it? The Jeep is just not necessary in the suburbs. So dear soccer moms, there is nothing wrong with picking up your kids from school or soccer practice in a Honda Pilot, leave the Wranglers to the enthusiasts.

5. Jeep makes other great cars, too

Cherokee, Grand Cherokee, Renegade, Compass and Patriot; these are all great SUVs in Jeep's lineup that's aren't the Wrangler. People seem to forget that Jeep makes other great products that are actually more practical, more fuel efficient, safer and generally better suited for the road than the Wrangler. They all have four-wheel-drive, too, so although their systems are not as complex as the one in the Wrangler, they can still handle bad weather conditions or even some moderate offroading superbly well. Give these guys some love they deserve.

6. Offroading is a great fun

If done right, offroading can be a great fun without harming yourself or your car (again, if done right.) Any off-road enthusiast will testify that driving through the thick wilderness of a mountain or a desert trail or a thick bed of snow is an addicting adventure unlike any other. I feel bad for Jeep Wrangler owners who only drive them around town never take theirs off-road, because they're missing all the fun, wild stuff like this.




Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Adulting

18 Things I Want To Do Now That I'm 18

I'm technically an adult, so I'm legally required to live a little, right?

343
Happy Birthday Cake

For the entirety of my high school career, I was always seen as the goody-two-shoes. I never got in trouble with a teacher, I kept stellar grades, and when I wasn't doing extracurricular activities, I was at home studying. Even when I did go out, it was usually with a bunch of fellow band geeks. The night would end before 11:00 PM and the only controversial activity would be a fight based on who unfairly won a round of Apples-to-Apples when someone else clearly had a better card (I promise I'm not still holding a grudge).

Now that I'm officially an adult, I want to pursue some new things. I want to experience life in a way that I never allowed myself to do prior to entering college. These are the years that I'm supposed to embark on a journey of self-discovery, so what better way to do that than to create a bucket list?

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

10 Life Lessons from Christmas Classics

The holiday classics that shaped my life

194
10 Life Lessons from Christmas Classics
Flickr

The holiday season is full of stress, debt, and forced conversation. While we rush through the month of December, it's important to take a step back and enjoy the moments before they're gone. Most families love to watch Christmas movies, but these beloved films provide more than entertainment. Here are 10 life lessons that I've learned from the holiday classics we watch every year.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

199064
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Most Epic Aurora Borealis Photos: October 2024

As if May wasn't enough, a truly spectacular Northern Lights show lit up the sky on Oct. 10, 2024

20187
stunning aurora borealis display over a forest of trees and lake
StableDiffusion

From sea to shining sea, the United States was uniquely positioned for an incredible Aurora Borealis display on Thursday, Oct. 10, 2024, going into Friday, Oct. 11.

It was the second time this year after an historic geomagnetic storm in May 2024. Those Northern Lights were visible in Europe and North America, just like this latest rendition.

Keep Reading...Show less
 silhouette of a woman on the beach at sunrise
StableDiffusion

Content warning: This article contains descriptions of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

When you are feeling down, please know that there are many reasons to keep living.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments