We've all been there.
You meet a guy you just click with. The two of you talk non-stop every day yet you can't stand the thought of being apart. You dish all the dirty details to your friends and you get butterflies when you see him. You feel like a little girl, giddy about her first crush. The two of you just get each other. It just feels so right.
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You meet each other's friends and families. Everything is going great until someone slams the "relationship" label on you. It's the dreaded conversation we all try to avoid: the "where is this relationship going?" talk. If you're lucky, the two of you will solidify your relationship and continue on, but not all of us are so fortunate.
One of the hardest answers to hear goes something like this: "I really love being with you. I think you're the greatest girl, but it's just not the 'right' time in my life for something serious. Blah, blah, blah."
I've come to realize that timing isn't the problem. The guy you're with is. It's my personal onion, the "it's not a good time in my life to date" line is one of the biggest cop-outs and most bullshit excuses out there. It's like getting hit with, "It's not you, it's me," and knowing you're just being lied to.
1. There is no "right time."
First of all, what even classifies the "right" time?
I understand life throws a lot of things at us but is it worth it to cut a relationship short simply because it's inconvenient? You could have been with the love of your life, and you didn't give it a real chance because your lifestyle wasn't conducive to dating.
If you wait until everything in your life is near perfect to date, how will you know if someone is willing to stay with you when things get challenging?
2. You're missing out on other guys.
When you stay with the f*ckboy who doesn't want to date you (because that's essentially what he's saying,) you're cutting yourself off from meeting other men.
Girl, I get it, staying with him is comfortable. It's easy.
But in reality, it completely sucks because you want more and he doesn't. Why stay in a mediocre "relationship" when you could find someone who goes out of his way to make time for you?
3. You're selling yourself short of what you deserve.
Any man who wants to be with you will make an effort to actually be with you. The boy you're currently with only wants you around because you're staying around.
Stop settling. The man who wants to be with you will prove to you that not all guys are pricks, and you'll be glad you left the loser who saw you as "just an option."
4. You're letting him win.
By staying with a guy who says it's not the right time for him to be dating, you're letting him win. He is getting everything he wants: a pretty girl to show off, sex whenever he wants, and someone to talk to when he's bored. And this is all without any commitment required on his part!
All you're getting is strung along.
5. It's all about him.
Did he ever stop to ask what you wanted or how you felt? No.
He was too caught in how a relationship would affect his life, but a relationship is all about compromises and communication. This boy thinks in terms of "me," when he could be thinking in terms of "we."
6. His lack of commitment shouldn't mess with your confidence.
No matter how secure or confident you are, having the person you have strong feelings for telling you that "it's not a good time to date" screws with your confidence. You begin to question whether or not you're the problem.
Will he change for another girl? Why won't he change for me? Am I not good enough? All these doubts will eat away at you, until you feel like shit about yourself.
The man you should be with will make you feel more confident and more beautiful. He will make you question why you ever even entertained the thought of staying with the dick who couldn't see what a great girl he had.
