So, before I begin... let me just say this: I LOVE MY HUSBAND. I seriously love him so much and I mean no disrespect to him or to anyone, this is simply just the way I see such a touchy subject. Brace yourselves, here we go...

Alright, admit it, everyone in a relationship has had a fight or two with their partner about someone in the relationship talking to their ex. It could've been completely innocent, it could've been flirtatious (shame on you), and it could've been malicious (also shame on you). Point blank is this: someone got upset. I can see why, I really can. But if you think about it, there are reasons why you shouldn't feel guilty about talking to your ex and why your partner shouldn't be upset about it either. Now I don't mean that you should be talking to your ex in a way that could cause conflict, because that is not okay. But just hear me out and continue reading this with an open mind. Save your scoffs and your "how dare she"s until the end. And if you still feel some type of way about it... reevaluate.

1. Your partner should trust you.

Let me say this louder for the people in the back... YOUR PARTNER SHOULD TRUST YOU. Honestly though, what is a relationship without trust? Not a well thought out and mature one, I can tell you that. Before you say to yourself "this is dumb, my bf/gf does trust me", are you sure? Like REALLY sure? If you are with the right person there is a well established foundation of trust. He/she isn't monitoring your accounts, going through your phone, questioning you, etc.. A relationship should come without all of those things. You are not in a dictatorship, no one (outside of work and if you're young, your parents) is your boss and you cannot be told what to do because you are a grown adult. Yes, everyone has flaws but those flaws shouldn't be held onto and turned into grudges, you know? Now, if you've previously done your partner wrong and he/she was gracious enough to forgive you then I get it, there is a reason to be cautious and yes, it's your fault. However, it shouldn't be dwelled upon your whole relationship. But if you haven't done anything wrong then what reason is there to not have trust? Like I said before... reevaluate.

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2. You should trust yourself.

Let's be real, this one is self explanatory. If a certain ex texts you and you feel that pang of guilt, you should probably stop because that is a red flag. Abort, abort, abort. Clearly there are feelings you still have and if something deep down inside of you tells you that something is just not right about it, then that is your inner demon trying to scratch its way out to the surface and that means there is a higher risk of you losing trust in yourself. Move on. But say another ex texts you, and you're like "oh, hey" instead of "omgomgomg", then you're over it. Been there, done that. It sounds stupid, but I know what I'm talking about and we all have that one ex where we feel that pang of guilt that I just talked about. And we also have those other exes where we literally feel nothing for. We look at those exes as a memory instead of a "missing out on" type of situation. My point on trusting yourself is this: only you know what you feel about whoever and only you can determine if there is potential for a friendship there. Not to mention... if you're still pining over someone and you're in a relationship with someone else... answer me this, should you even be in that relationship? Don't worry, I'll wait.

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3. The relationship with your ex was beyond just that.

Time to get personal! I have mommy issues. So for me, having my exes family was like having an extension of my own. His mom was basically my mom, she treated me as if I was her own. She gave me the absolute best advice and was not afraid to tell me how it is. Being friends with that particular ex is way more than just having a non-romantic relationship with him. It's being able to still run into his mom(s) somewhere and not having to duck and hide. It's being able to send a simple message saying "I miss you" without secretly feeling like you should be saying "I miss your son". Do I miss him? No. Did I miss him before though? Absolutely. But I have moved on. And going back to reason #2, I most definitely trust myself. That leads me to my next point.

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4. You (and everyone else) knows there is no future for you and him/her.

I'm married, right? That stuff is legit, it's for forever and a day and I would want nothing more than to be with my man for the rest of my life and beyond! I see zero, I repeat, ZERO, chances of me being with any of my exes in the future and I am okay with that. It is up to you to determine if you feel the same with your current partner. This goes back to missing him/her. Do you or do you not? No one can tell you how to feel. And God willing, if you are comfortable in your own mind and heart, I do not see the problem. The most miserable thing you can do to yourself emotionally is wish someone was someone else. That is not fair to you and it is definitely not fair to your partner. Don't try to fill a void, it S U C K S. Before I met the amazing man that my husband is, I tried to fill that void my ex left. And that was a no-go until I met "the one". Guys and gals, once you meet "the one" I promise you there will be no void and you will find yourself where I am, happily married.

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5. It was never a for real relationship anyways.

Let's not be ashamed to say that we all made the mistake of trying to date someone that we knew in the end would not be the right person for you. We've all jumped the gun before, bad mistake, and it's okay. You know that one ex that you dated for like all of three days? Or the one where it felt like you were dating a wall? Or the one where you were kinda sleepwalking through the whole thing until someone finally was like "okay, this is pointless"? I could see a friendship there. I dated this one guy who was BFFs with this one girl. I was like 16 or 17 or something, so naturally I was like "uhhh, why is my boy friend best friends with a girl"? He told me one day "I made out with her once and it was literally like kissing my brother, it just did not feel right." Boom. Point made.

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6. You're just happy where you're at and you have no interest in reliving the past.

DUH! If this one isn't obvious, I don't know what is. It's nice to have friends. If you're like me, you may not have many so you are just wanting a friendship (and nothing more) with someone who already knows you. Simple as that. If you're both in a healthy, stable relationship, the past is irrelevant and should be left there... in the past.

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We have reached the end! If you have stuck it out with me until this point, I applaud you. Let me say this again though, I respect my husband and I love him so so so much. And you should respect your significant other as well. I am not saying that after reading this you should start an argument with your partner about talking to an ex, don't do that, it's not worth it. I am just shedding some light on a {commonly} negative topic. While there are more than just six reasons in which being friends with an ex is okay, these are the ones that just so happened to stick with me. Do what is best for you and your relationship and cherish the ones you love!

Love one another as I have loved you. John 13:34