I was sitting at my kitchen table trying to come up with something to write this week, but all I could think of was a "cat decoder" (which is a terrible idea) because my cat was circling my feet meowing for no apparent reason. For some reason, cats are just really strange creatures; they are quirky and weird and I really don't understand them. I've been working in classrooms for years and there are quite a few kids in my family so I've come to realize just how similar kids and cats are.
1. They make a lot of noises and we have no idea what they're trying to tell us.
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Yesterday my cat yelled at me for almost an hour. He had plenty of food, his litter box was clean, he didn't want to play, and whenever I tried to pick him up he just wanted to be put down. Much like a child who can't talk yet, I had no idea what he wanted from me because everything seemed perfectly fine. He stopped his crying eventually, but what he was upset about will probably remain a mystery forever.
2. Cleaning their litter box is like changing a diaper.
For some reason, kids and cats just stare at you the whole time. It's like they're silently telling you "yeah, clean me up, slave" because they can't clean up after themselves. They're either silent and staring, or throwing a complete fit. My cat both loves and hates his litter box being cleaned out. He stares at me the entire time but will them attack my legs as I try to throw everything away. The worst thing though is when you clean a litter box or change a diaper and then the child/cat IMMEDIATELY goes to the bathroom again.
3. You can buy all the fancy toys you want, but they'll still prefer a cardboard box.
On Christmas, I bought my cat a little stocking full of toys. There were little catnip mice, a ball made of garland, and other toys, yet all he wanted to do was lay down in the cardboard boxes my clothes came in. For some reason, kids are the exact same way. They'd rather play inside the giant box their outdoor jungle gym came in than on the actual toy itself. At least cats and kids are pretty cheap to get presents for if you think about the fact that they'd prefer a box to the toy you gave them.
4. You can't ever go to the bathroom alone.
I can't remember the last time I was able to go into my bathroom without the cat following me in and sitting on the sink right in front of me. If I even attempt to close the door before he comes in after me, he'll stick his paws under the crack between the door and the ground until I let him in. The kids in my family were the exact same way when they were younger. How dare we attempt to go to the bathroom without them supervising us?
5. Always having to ask "WHAT ARE YOU EATING?!"
If I had a dime for every time I've yelled this phrase out while running across the room, I'd be rich. Plants, string, dirt, anything that's ever fallen on the floor, hairballs; nothing is safe. Granted half the time they're eating something that won't actually hurt them, but it's terrifying either way.
6. There is no such thing as personal space anymore.
Sleeping alone is a no-no. What once was your bed has now been taking over by another living creature who may be small but knows exactly how to spread themselves out and take up all the space. There's also the fact that you're probably woken up any time you try to sleep with a paw or hand to the face. The snuggling is great, the lack of personal space however, is not.
